Today, I found out that my boyfriend is extremely jealous of a stuffed toy that sits on my bed, all because it gets to 'sleep in the same bed as me and he doesn't.' Now, whenever he comes over, he throws it at the wall, death glares at it, then gets up and kicks it under my bed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML
Today, my boyfriend kicked me out of bed so the dog could get under the covers. FML
Today, after finally falling asleep, my boyfriend woke me up and got extremely mad at me. My offense? My pillow was touching his side of the bed. After yelling at me, he's now sleeping on the couch, and I'm lying in bed wide awake. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend regularly has his ex stay over. They even share a bed. He doesn't see a problem with this. FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me that sharing a bed with me was like sleeping with a seizing cat. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend keeps a gun under his pillow. This was only after my friends and I surprised him with his birthday cake while he was sleeping. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he had once been possessed by demons, and that he now sleeps with a knife under his pillow for protection from, "The dark spirits that are feasting upon his soul." I'm not sure that I'll be sleeping over anytime soon. FML
Today, my boyfriend got irrationally pissed at me because his cat decided to sit on my lap instead of his. FML
Today, I walked into my bedroom to find my boyfriend clipping his toe nails into my pillow case. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend shrieking at the top of his lungs. I ran into the dining room where he was, to find him standing on the table screaming "Kill it!" while pointing at an unmoving spider the size of a Tic Tac on the wall. FML
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Top comments
thoughtcriminal7 3
Is your boyfriend two years old? What a dumbass. Try dating someone who acts like an adult.
MrBoredGuy 1
don't ever get a vibrator...
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Comments (396)
sneaks20 0
haha I do the same thing
attilla19 2
wow get out of that relationship STAT
LifeSucks974 0
lol that's amazin
Caitycandid 2
If he was smart, he would put a nanny cam in it.
dtmack 0
isn't it illegal to date five year olds?
abbymarie_21 0
omgosh! when I read this, I could not stop laughing! my boyfriend is the same way! I have a pillowpet! (the unicorn one) yes I'm 18, but I am very much grown up! haha. but anyways, he gets sooooo mad when I have it on my bed or hold it when I sleep! hahaha!!
niya623 0
how's that bad? I think it's adorable!
treelamphug 0
wow. I can't believe the replies to this. you have to be completely stupid to think it's an act of violence. it's a joke. I know many people that have this sense of humor. it would be violent if he ripped it apart, but he's just showing adorable, harmless, comedic jealousy. it takes someone immature to take it differently and freak out about it. girls are annoying. no wonder I'm gay.
DerpyHooves 0
That's why I'm not gay :D Girls are very annoying :I
stephie0128 2
wow, childish much? sorry girl.
sweetazz05 0
soo not a FML.. just saying