Today, I found out that just because you're drunk, it doesn't make it okay to call your mother-in-law a fat slag. However, it does make it okay for your wife to knee you in the snow globes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mother called me a slut and unladylike because I prefer beer instead of wine. Apparently, beer's only for "unladylike sluts". FML
Today, my mum staggered home, piss drunk. When I tried to walk her to her room, she shoved me away and cursed at me for being a "goody two-shoes". She then slurred, "I fucked your mum", and informed me that my mum is a skank. That's good to know, mum. FML
Today, I found out that my father, who very recently lost his wife, decided that drunkenly hitting on my long-time boyfriend's mom was a good idea. FML
Today, my mom told me she wasn't an alcoholic because she doesn't get "black out drunk" daily. She only gets drunk enough to slur her words and reek of alcohol daily, so it's okay. FML
Today, after agreeing to hang out with my husband and his alcoholic mother after his father’s suicide, my mother-in-law found out that my sister-in-law and I playfully insult each other. She lost her mind and practically bit my head off, relapsed, and blamed my “disrespecting her daughter” on said relapse. FML
Today, I was called a "whore," a "demon," a "piece of shit," and a "disrespectful bitch." All of this happened because I wouldn't let my mother-in-law borrow my car. This is a woman with multiple speeding tickets. FML
Today, my drunken mother told me I'm just like my father and that I don't give a fuck about her. She's living in my home and drinking my wine. FML
Today, whilst at my new step-dad's Christmas lunch, my mother spiked my drink so that I would look worse than her in front of her new mother-in-law. FML
Today, I was told by my girlfriend that in the thralls of my drunken haze last night, I tried to French-kiss her mom. FML
Today, my mother-in-law came home drunk and said to my husband, "I told you not to bring a dumb girl home." I'm a kindergarten teacher with my own private school. FML
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Top comments
Feverrotes 15
props to OP for coming up with an original way to reference your unit. I was getting sick of all these idiots saying hap sac
redbluegreen 41
At least she didn't grab and decide to violently shake them.
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Comments (119)
tehlolz 0
i like the Christmas themed "snow globes" instead of talking like a normal human and saying balls, nuts, gonads, testicles, etc...
GreenDaemon21 0
im sick and tired of you ignorent americans assuming every1 speaks the same language! open you're eyes! OP is from Ireland! Wherever da **** dat is. We don;t even know if he speaks english as his second language! so wat is "normal" for you may not be "normal" for him! dont judge you stupid ignorent person!
myfriend_youfail 3
LMAO. The fact that you're calling people ignorant is hilarious. 1. You can't spell worth shit. 2. You don't even know where Ireland is. Ahhhhhh the irony.
Anteezy 7
Haha you are the obvious retard here really, seriously you don't know where Ireland is? xD And you're right English isn't their 2nd language, it's their first. xD And no snow globes isn't the right term for balls in any language so the guy who you replied to was right.
themanplan 0
wow you know its people like you that make me think humanity should really stop..... tell me good sir.... can u dress yourself in the morning.... or does your ignorance span so far that you sit on your fat arse in front of the tv all day?
Ascaryrobot 0
Should have given her the famed **** Punt in response.
Yulia_fml 0
hahaha I love how this whole "snow globes" thing is such a love-it-or-hate-it expression! I vote for love it! =)
Laxloverr24 0
#33-yeah whatever sorry I don't know French words. or whatever language that is.
iFruit 0
Holy ****. They're called testicles. Since when do you have snow globes instead? Is Santa Claus in one of them, and maybe some fake snow in your other snowglobe? Didn't think so. Just call them testicles. Or balls. Or even nuts, I guess. But not snow globes. Well... at least you didn't say happy sacks!
grandma_moses 0
FYL. violence is never acceptable - ever. and double FYL for the straightedge teenagers jumping on your balls for drinking when you're obviously of legal age. sure it wasn't a nice thing to say but saying that someone deserves VIOLENCE because they were drinking is ******* retarded. ps: my MIL is a slag too ;)
colindush 0
hhahahahahahaha
Lord_of_Metal 0
Probably shouldn't have called your mother - in -law a fat slag within your wife's hearing range, but hey, maybe she deserved it. I hope your snow globes feel better.
teiso_fml 0
If you are a bad drunk, you shouldn't get drunk in the first place. YDI.
telfie 0
YDI because ARE YOU STUPID? Never say that in hearing range of someone who might not think it's funny!