Today, I found out that just because you're drunk, it doesn't make it okay to call your mother-in-law a fat slag. However, it does make it okay for your wife to knee you in the snow globes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mother called me a slut and unladylike because I prefer beer instead of wine. Apparently, beer's only for "unladylike sluts". FML
Today, my mum staggered home, piss drunk. When I tried to walk her to her room, she shoved me away and cursed at me for being a "goody two-shoes". She then slurred, "I fucked your mum", and informed me that my mum is a skank. That's good to know, mum. FML
Today, I found out that my father, who very recently lost his wife, decided that drunkenly hitting on my long-time boyfriend's mom was a good idea. FML
Today, my mom told me she wasn't an alcoholic because she doesn't get "black out drunk" daily. She only gets drunk enough to slur her words and reek of alcohol daily, so it's okay. FML
Today, after agreeing to hang out with my husband and his alcoholic mother after his father’s suicide, my mother-in-law found out that my sister-in-law and I playfully insult each other. She lost her mind and practically bit my head off, relapsed, and blamed my “disrespecting her daughter” on said relapse. FML
Today, I was called a "whore," a "demon," a "piece of shit," and a "disrespectful bitch." All of this happened because I wouldn't let my mother-in-law borrow my car. This is a woman with multiple speeding tickets. FML
Today, my drunken mother told me I'm just like my father and that I don't give a fuck about her. She's living in my home and drinking my wine. FML
Today, whilst at my new step-dad's Christmas lunch, my mother spiked my drink so that I would look worse than her in front of her new mother-in-law. FML
Today, I was told by my girlfriend that in the thralls of my drunken haze last night, I tried to French-kiss her mom. FML
Today, my mother-in-law came home drunk and said to my husband, "I told you not to bring a dumb girl home." I'm a kindergarten teacher with my own private school. FML
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Top comments
Feverrotes 15
props to OP for coming up with an original way to reference your unit. I was getting sick of all these idiots saying hap sac
redbluegreen 41
At least she didn't grab and decide to violently shake them.
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Comments (119)
SweetPotatoVines 0
I hope your snow globes didn't break
teaset 0
ydi for calling them snowglobes. but also props for getting into the christmas spirit.
Bloodrush 0
yes, because being drunk justifies being a douchebag...dumbass
myfriend_youfail 3
YDI for being an asshat to your mother-in-law. Being drunk doesn't give you free license to act like a jerk. FYL because your wife hit you THERE, she should have simply cut out your tongue. A kick in the balls does not remedy a wagging tongue. Cutting off the offending tongue, however... Note for any idiots who can't detect that this was a joke: IT WAS A JOKE.
FoundManyLemons 0
Good lesson to learn. YDI
DynamicDave 11
I literally lol'ed @ "snow globes!" Thank you for a. not saying happy sacks and b. making my day!
powersticks 16
YDI for being drunk but FYL for your wife having double standards. I ******* hate people with double standards.
mrfloppyjoe 0
people just dont understand the irish
BaBiiSpAnKy821 0
snowglobesss??? lmfao
onnielief 4
I though the Irish say insulting stuff in good fun? anyway, being drunk is never an excuse, not sure this is a YDI for the drunken insult( you are Irish after all) or a FML for the hurt snow globes.
myfriend_youfail 3
As an Irishwoman, I'll explain. It's only in good fun if all parties involved know that what's said is meant in humor. Considering the wife kicked him in the jewels, I'd say some people weren't all that amused.
themanplan 0
hey loook at the stereotypical douche