Today, I found out that if you whistle Christmas carols while shitting in a public bathroom, a little boy might just look under the stall to see if Santa is pooping. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked into the Macy's bathroom to find Santa taking a dump with the door open. Merry Christmas. FML
Today, I was working at the mall as Santa, when a little girl took a shit in my lap. FML
Today, I had to clean bathroom duties at work. Someone wrote "Merry Christmas" on the wall in their own shit. FML
Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML
Today, my toddler started chirping, "Mommy’s on the toilet!" while I was in a public restroom at our local mall. She also knocked on the stall door to make sure everyone was made aware of our exact location. FML
Today, while trying to take a crap, I shut the bathroom door. A minute later, my 3 year old daughter knocked and said "Mommy, do you wanna build a snowman?" She kept singing the song until I was finally done. FML
Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, my 8 year old son decided to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well played son. FML
Today, my little brother found the singing Santa Claus from last year, and it still works. I'm now going to be hearing nothing but "We WISH you a MERRY CHRISTMAS!" for the next 20 days. FML
Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML
Today, I used the restroom at a department store. While I was in my stall, I overheard a little girl say to her mother, "I see someone wearing pink!" I remembered that I was wearing pink just as she finished her thought, "…and she's pooping." She was peeking at me through the stall. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Yellow_Fish79 11
Tell him he is on the naughty list! Peeking under stalls... >:
allblacksfan 7
I would do the exact same thing. Who would want to miss out on meeting Santa?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (103)
harley50 0
IT'S CHRISTMAS IN JUNE!!
Haybo1774 0
Ahhh the disappointment!!! I would hate to be the little boy!!! "Hey mommy!! Some douchebag in the stall next to me was pretending to be santa, I know it was only pretend because i checked to see if he was!!"
im_smart 0
Should of told him there's no Santa for Christmas in July
mrrossh 3
Take a rubber band with you next time and start whistling the christmas song again - the next little sod that looks under the stall, snap it in his eye.
bubo_fml 11
Damn! I'll never whistle hymns in the Church toilet!!
JW_SR 9
Heh heh...that kid will always remember you pooping every time someone mentions Santa!
Oreohugzpenny 4
Well maybe whistle Justin bieber next time. It will scare everyone away!
chocolatebug 2
The best I've seen this far.
WithinEPICA 4
DAMN!! that made my day!!
wikedjest 0
comments where hilarious and still wondering about why you where whistling chrismas tunes