Today, I found out that if you whistle Christmas carols while shitting in a public bathroom, a little boy might just look under the stall to see if Santa is pooping. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked into the Macy's bathroom to find Santa taking a dump with the door open. Merry Christmas. FML
Today, I was working at the mall as Santa, when a little girl took a shit in my lap. FML
Today, I had to clean bathroom duties at work. Someone wrote "Merry Christmas" on the wall in their own shit. FML
Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML
Today, my toddler started chirping, "Mommy’s on the toilet!" while I was in a public restroom at our local mall. She also knocked on the stall door to make sure everyone was made aware of our exact location. FML
Today, while trying to take a crap, I shut the bathroom door. A minute later, my 3 year old daughter knocked and said "Mommy, do you wanna build a snowman?" She kept singing the song until I was finally done. FML
Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, my 8 year old son decided to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well played son. FML
Today, my little brother found the singing Santa Claus from last year, and it still works. I'm now going to be hearing nothing but "We WISH you a MERRY CHRISTMAS!" for the next 20 days. FML
Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML
Today, I used the restroom at a department store. While I was in my stall, I overheard a little girl say to her mother, "I see someone wearing pink!" I remembered that I was wearing pink just as she finished her thought, "…and she's pooping." She was peeking at me through the stall. FML
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Top comments
Yellow_Fish79 11
Tell him he is on the naughty list! Peeking under stalls... >:
allblacksfan 7
I would do the exact same thing. Who would want to miss out on meeting Santa?
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Comments (103)
Wayne913 13
Has anyone made a joke about Santa's sack yet?
challan 19
Sleigh bells ring, Are ya listenin'? Santa's balls, Really glisten. Elves frolic and play, The pedo way... Its a true fact, they play with his sack...
YesyDidWhat 0
Lol sorry OP but that's just too funny:D
RomanCatMama 16
Its June? Literally could not be much farther from Christmas :L
mayyberry 4
Oh the look on his face when it's not Santa..
lotro 0
Who would be whisiling in a public bathroom in the first place ..
birdmanjr 1
I wonder how many pedophiles just read that fml.
Rainbowbright99 4
The kid should be posting his FML. Today I saw an old dude pooping, and he wasn't Santa.
imavelociraptor 6
You deserve it for singing christmas carols in june!
melrose90210 10
Why the hell were you whispering christmas carols?
nvo 6
That's hilarious :)