Today, I was out jogging. As I took a rest to have a drink of water, a car pulled onto the sidewalk and bumped into me. Not just any car; my dad's car. He then drove away. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while out for a jog, I noticed that you never know how fast you run until you're being followed by someone in a car you don't know, and they're continuously honking at you. I later found out it my dad in his new car. FML
Today, I was walking home from piano lessons when I saw my dad on a bike, so I shouted after him. He turned his head around and then ran into a tree. It wasn't my dad. FML
Today, as I was walking home from work, my dad drove past, pulled over, rolled down the window and asked, "Are you tired of walking?" To which I replied "Yes!" Just as I reached for the car door, he yelled "RUN A WHILE" and sped off. FML
Today, I accidentally crashed my mom's car into my dad's car. FML
Today, I went for a run when my shin splints acted up, so I called my dad to have him come pick me up. When I saw his car approaching, I stuck out my thumb like a hitchhiker, as a joke. The car pulled over to give me a ride. It wasn't my dad. FML
Today, I was kicking my soccer ball with my father. My mom pulled out in the car without checking and ran into to me. FML
Today, my dad got extremely drunk, so I took away his car keys and left on foot. When I came back, I saw that he had broken down my door. Now my dad is mad at me for not giving him the keys when he was drunk, and I'm door-less. FML
Today, I left my phone outside on the grass while I went inside to get a drink. I didn't expect my dad to run over it with the lawn mower. FML
Today, I illicitly borrowed my dad's car to go to the store, but crashed into my mom's car as she and dad were returning from my grandma's house. Both cars are totalled, my mom is in hospital with a broken collarbone, and I realised dads really can make steam come out their ears if they’re really mad. FML
Today, a drunk driver totalled my new Audi. Who was the drunk driver? My dad. FML
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Top comments
josh7279 7
Tag you're it!
Welshite 40
I don't always recognize my children, but when I do I make sure to hit them with my vehicle.
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Comments (71)
TheDoctor10 28
Maybe he thought you were being lazy? If so, that's extremely inconvenient timing.
Jake_Hale 7
YDI for jogging outside and not going to the gym.
Jake_Hale 7
Yeah you should call the police OP and report him. That's considered attempted murder.
Ctrl_H 18
Why do people like 41 even exist?
jesustitts 20
Because not everyone can be smart.
lilhellian 27
He was just trying to motivate you by having you chase him! :)
Olympiakos10 15
Or his Dad chase OP to make him run a litle faster ;]
hcollins1 18
If so, his dad should blare 'eye of the tiger' while he follows OP.
josh7279 7
Tag you're it!
ThePaul007 14
Haha you have a really funny dad
Jake_Hale 7
Yes he does LOL!
thatnucca 36
I hope that's not his little way of letting you know he'll have all your stuff packed next to a stoner spoon when you get home...
Dallasluver19 14
Go chase him...?
NinjaBunny026 16
OP's not a dog..
GenaALazer 22
Don't be so sensitive, everybody gets bumped into.
whyisitme12 19
I never been bumped by a car on 2 feet
GenaALazer 22
It's a goddamn joke
soullyfe 33
...just usually not by a car.
mariepastyglue 30
Sorry to say, but that really wasn't a good joke. Op maybe he thought it would be funny unless it's payback, for something you're not saying in your post?.
LaLince 40
Did he notice that it was you?
Welshite 40
I don't always recognize my children, but when I do I make sure to hit them with my vehicle.
hcollins1 18
Obviously, OPs dad didn't recognize him. He just randomly drives onto sidewalks, bumps into people and drives off.
enterthedragon97 1
He was just trying to motivate you!
quincy2112 9
Nice dad. I bet he thought you were lazy and wanted to get you back on your feet.
Theglc20 27
*boop*