Today, on my second morning at college, I tried to make coffee using my Keurig. I realized after I got back from my shower that I hadn't put a cup under the machine. All 3 drawers of my dresser are now filled with coffee. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up late for work. In my rush to make a quick cup of coffee, I forgot to put a mug under the machine. I came back a few minutes later to a kitchen counter flooded with coffee and had to clean it up, making me even later. To top it off, I was out of coffee. FML
Today, I bought a coffee on my way to work and put it in the cup holder. At the next red light, I noticed it was empty. I'd apparently forgotten to put the lid on. My passenger seat was covered in coffee. FML
Today, I wanted revenge on my college's drinks machine. For the past two days, it forgot to release a cup before pouring my coffee. This time, I had planned ahead; I put my money in, entered the code, and quickly inserted my own cup. It gave me hot water. FML
Today, I was running late for work so I grabbed my coffee to go. I was rushing down the stairs when I stumbled a bit and spilled the entire cup of coffee all over myself. I had to go back up, change clothes, and was still late. The kicker? It was decaf. FML
Today, I had made a cup of my favorite coffee, which I had recently found to be discontinued. To accompany this last cup, I went to get a muffin. As I turned around, I see my son pouring the cup out because I out put it next to the sink and he thought it was dirty. FML
Today, upon waking up, I took a sip on what I thought was a cup of water on my nightstand. I quickly discovered it was my roommate's cup of used mouthwash which she was too lazy to throw out the night before. FML
Today, I went to make coffee, but having just woken up, I forgot the paper filter. You can guess what was in my coffee… FML
Today, I woke up early in the morning after sleeping 3 hours. Stepped into the kitchen and made myself a cup of coffee like usual. I was sipping my hot coffee while studying, until I noticed a small roach skeleton. I found 3 more in my coffee maker. FML
Today, I woke up to find that my cat had barfed all over my laptop's keyboard and screen, filling each nook and cranny of the stuff. As if that wasn't bad enough, when I went to make coffee to deal with the stress, I found that I was out of coffee. FML
Today, I used my new French Press to make my morning coffee. Turns out, I pressed too hard, and the entire press disassembled, turning my morning into a caffeinated crime scene. FML
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Top comments
NotCollegeBound 17
Ah, the joys of needing coffee but being too tired to make it properly. This is coming from the person who's put sugar in the coffee filter, water in the already full pot, and tried drinking a cup of straight creamer.
GreedyGreedo 10
That's usually the part of the day where I say "**** it" and contemplate suicide for a few hours before I end up masturbating to some weird fetish **** and then feel super guilty and comtemplate suicide again. It's an endless cycle, really.
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Comments (42)
coming back in the future 30
So your coffee maker is on your clothes drawer?
gothiccookies 10
From the college reference I would make the assumption that OP lives in a dorm room, and therefore probably has very few surfaces to put their coffee maker on.
GreedyGreedo 10
That's usually the part of the day where I say "**** it" and contemplate suicide for a few hours before I end up masturbating to some weird fetish **** and then feel super guilty and comtemplate suicide again. It's an endless cycle, really.
bambisapphic 18
relatable
Lalala579121 28
And then make yourself more coffee to get over the suicide thoughts.
Elitedrone 12
at least you got a lot of coffee
NotCollegeBound 17
Ah, the joys of needing coffee but being too tired to make it properly. This is coming from the person who's put sugar in the coffee filter, water in the already full pot, and tried drinking a cup of straight creamer.
mariri9206 32
You sound like a mess before you get your caffeine. lol.
DestinyNiya 33
I don't get how all your drawers are filled with coffee. Isn't it supposed to make only one cup? I really don't know how it's used. But a quantity to fill up all your drawers seem like a lot!
DravensTheName 16
I'm assuming it didn't "literally" fill up the drawers. More like only a bit of coffee got into each one.
Lalala579121 28
No, it obviously became sentient and used its deep-seated grudge against OP to completely fill their drawers with coffee. Nobody ever uses exaggeration on the Internet.
DestinyNiya 33
Then I don't think it's fml worthy at all. The cleaning wouldn't take much time and coffee can be made again quickly. Smh
smallandroid 26
All of OP's clothes probably got soaked in coffee too. A little liquid can go a long way.
MandieL 27
Could have been a 2.0, they make whole pots don't they?
thatweirdasian 22
#7 - There are ones that make four cups as well. But regardless of whether it's one cup or four cups or however many cups, the main point of this FML post is that some of OP's clothes in the dresser most likely got stained by coffee, which, yes, is FML-worthy.
DravensTheName 16
The silver lining is at least coffee smells good :p
mariri9206 32
It does smell really good. Makes me kinda upset that I'm a barista because I've become exempt to the coffee smell when at work. One of the best scents in the world and I'm in a prime position to smell it for hours and I can't smell it at all. lol
Lalala579121 28
I feel your pain, 16. I work at a cake factory as of the past two weeks and have pretty much become immune to the smell of cake.
PositiveX 4
Ah the mistakes you do in college, I once put a lot of salt instead of sugar. Happens all the time with the stress
TheBiggerBoot 7
Its only day two of college, if OP is under that much stress it may be time to re evaluate being in college.
Redlum 7
Seems like making coffee isnt really your cup of tea. :>
mariri9206 32
I hope this coffee making routine of OP's doesn't become their daily grind. It makes a latte mess, it seems.
rampatmonkey 7
How? Keurigs don't run unless there's a mug underneath it ... unless they removed that feature from newer models? Mine is pretty old but it won't start making the coffee until there's a cup
mezochan 29
Mine is over five years old and has never needed a cup under it to run...
DeanDean23 4
Ours is 2 or 3 years old and doesn't need a cup under it to run. My husband has made coffee directly onto the counter more than once.
Goblin182 27
I did than once. Felt really stupid. Luckily, the base on mine held a cupful.