Today, as I was pressed for time, I opened some canned food for dinner. When my children were served, they said, "Mmm, this is best meal you've ever cooked for us!" I cook healthy, balanced meals every day. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after years of providing daily various home-made colourful meals for three kids and a husband, I was asked to "cook something cool, like instant hamburgers, not that lame healthy shit". FML
Today, my kids told me that for the FIRST time, my cooking was delicious. I made Kraft dinner that night. FML
Today, I bought ingredients for one of my favorite meals and went home to take a nap. When I woke up, my sister had cooked them for everyone else in the house, who ate it all without me. I was told that I shouldn't be angry, but instead proud of my adult sister because, "She cooked!" FML
Today, I spent hours cooking an amazing dinner for my family, who had just gotten home from a trip, so we could spend some time together because I'd started to miss everyone. When they got home, they saw it all laid out and just took plates to their room, without even telling me they were home. FML
Today, due to my wife saying I never cook and that we always order pizza, I spent a good hour preparing dinner. While serving it to my kids, they started complaining. My wife told them to shut up. When she took a bite, she looked up at me, smiled, and said, "Do you, you know, want to just order pizza?" FML
Today, I made a healthy, delicious dinner. My girlfriend picked at it until it went cold, then stuck it in the fridge. Later, she devoured a giant bowl of sugary cereal, then complained all night that her stomach hurt. This happens a lot. FML
Today, I decided to cook dinner for my wife and kid. After a long day of preperation and cooking I asked them what they thought of it. My 12 year old son then says, "I would say it tastes like shit but not even shit tastes this bad!" My wife then laughed and gave him a high-five. FML
Today, my parents told me not to make plans for dinner as they were bringing it home. Normally, that would be great but they brought home slop from some buffet that had just opened. Everything was greasy, too salty, or bland. I told them they could have it, and made my own dinner. Now I'm being called, "The Food Network critic." FML
Today, tired of my husband complaining that my food was basic and bland, I went out of my way to learn to cook using new recipes and fresh ingredients. He complained that I took too long to make dinner, and that the food is "fancied up shit." He can cook his own meals now. FML
Today, I made a tasty, healthy plant-based lunch for my family. They ate a few bites, spat it out, and then went to McDonald's "to eat real food, you know, food with meat in it." FML
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Top comments
cndrow 0
Healthy, balanced meals are usually not tasty. So why would this be a surprise to you? My mother is a health-nut and does everything she can to eat organic/healthy things. I eat out at least once a week and love carbs (though I'm not overweight, and neither is she). She's in a degenerative state of health, I am not- and she is only 18 years older than me. "Healthy living" helps some people, doesn't affect others. Everyone's bodies are different.
skine 0
The simplest thing you can do is to learn to use spices. Not only do they have (in general) negligible health effects, but they actually decrease caloric intake and increase water intake. Making spicy foods, especially with the capsaicin found in jalapeños, Tabasco sauce and other hot peppers, will actually increase metabolism, in addition to lowering caloric intake. Invest in kosher salt and black pepper, and use them as a base for rubs for meats (rubs are spice mixtures which are, well, rubbed into the meat before cooking). Kosher salt will help tenderize meats, as well as flavor them, and black pepper just tastes good. Use fresh and ripe vegetables whenever you're serving them raw. Variety. Pretty self-explanatory. Allow some boxed or canned meals, and feel free to play with the recipe. For example, when I cook macaroni and cheese, I generally boil some corn or peas with the pasta, then add a can of tuna in with the cheese and milk. Add some oregano and garlic to Beefaroni. And for F***'s sake, listen to your kids and ask what they like.
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Comments (66)
cndrow 0
Healthy, balanced meals are usually not tasty. So why would this be a surprise to you? My mother is a health-nut and does everything she can to eat organic/healthy things. I eat out at least once a week and love carbs (though I'm not overweight, and neither is she). She's in a degenerative state of health, I am not- and she is only 18 years older than me. "Healthy living" helps some people, doesn't affect others. Everyone's bodies are different.
MidnightMusic53 37
Healthy, balanced meals can be very tasty, it just depends on the cook. My mother has made tasty, healthy, balanced meals for years.
JackAtPage 13
64 your mother is also a *****. You are wrong.
GhostOfPerdition 0
Healthy meals often suck. Obv.
TheGuyNextDoor 0
This isn't that bad
skine 0
The simplest thing you can do is to learn to use spices. Not only do they have (in general) negligible health effects, but they actually decrease caloric intake and increase water intake. Making spicy foods, especially with the capsaicin found in jalapeños, Tabasco sauce and other hot peppers, will actually increase metabolism, in addition to lowering caloric intake. Invest in kosher salt and black pepper, and use them as a base for rubs for meats (rubs are spice mixtures which are, well, rubbed into the meat before cooking). Kosher salt will help tenderize meats, as well as flavor them, and black pepper just tastes good. Use fresh and ripe vegetables whenever you're serving them raw. Variety. Pretty self-explanatory. Allow some boxed or canned meals, and feel free to play with the recipe. For example, when I cook macaroni and cheese, I generally boil some corn or peas with the pasta, then add a can of tuna in with the cheese and milk. Add some oregano and garlic to Beefaroni. And for F***'s sake, listen to your kids and ask what they like.
nitemare0 17
agreed, I can't stand parents that make "balanced meals" and force kids to eat it, even when they complain they hate it
awesumnes 0
Do u really need to make a comment that big.
McAninch35 9
Do u really need to whine about it.
Sgt_Schadenfreud 0
Meals with an emphasis on health and balance taste like ass. It's a fact.
Chwis88 0
healthy balanced meals suck, give your kids some food with high perservative, high salt, and high fat content they're love you for it, the more calories the better, just make sure they get exercise so they don't become over weight
sabrage 0
Quit cooking shit. "Organic" and "natural" foods almost unanimously taste bland and awful by themselves.
crashdevil666 0
lol just give your kids canned food for the rest of the week/month/year/.... :)
Cre6rul 0
healthy food tastes like garbage.
retoxified 0
What's it like being a retard, #8?