Today, I found my 5-year-old son prancing around in high heels and cat ears, wearing a thong as a necklace, and waving a riding crop around like a sword. He'd found the box where granny keeps her special outfits that make granddad extra happy on Friday nights. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML
Today, my son decided to run around a supermarket in his underwear, leaving me to chase after him. FML
Today, it's been three weeks since my son found my old red dress and hat outfit in the attic, and like every day since then, he has been putting it on and bursting into rooms without warning and shouting, "NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!" He's almost 18 and going to college in September. FML
Today, I walked in on my teenage son passionately making out with one of his sister's Barbie dolls. FML
Today, when I was 14, all I could think about was girls. My son, however, would rather be a "furry", meaning he wears cat ears everywhere, meows and hisses in conversation, and keeps licking his hands and wiping them on his face. FML
Today, I had my boss and his family over for dinner. Our kids played while waiting for dinner to be ready. Just as we were sitting to eat, our 8-year-olds ran out and my son says "Look at Baxter! I found underwear with a tail hole!" They had found my crotchless panties and put them on the dog. FML
Today, my 14-year-old son asked his dog what she was chewing on. It wasn't until he picked it up said, "Is this what I think it is?" that I realized my son was gripping my vibrator. As I took it outside, mortified, he told his sister. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom changing. She was trying on a thong my boyfriend bought me for Valentine's Day. It looks better on her. FML
Today, I realized my wedding ring was missing. Turns out, my son had taken it to give to a girl he likes in the second grade. FML
Today, I playfully drew thick eyebrows on my one-year-old son to make him look like a cartoon villain. He laughed cutely in the mirror as I took some adorable pictures. When my husband saw, he threw such a horrendous fit about boys and makeup, I was reduced to tears. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
Damn. Horny grandparents are everywhere. It's a good thing mine were so religious when they were alive.
coolmike699 26
Grandson sounds extra happy too. Everyone wins!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (19)
Justin Allan Bannister 9
horny Harry Potter?
1gullible_bugger 34
this is actually kind of hilarious! it's not so much an FML. step back and have a good laugh, your son is 5. I would be more concerned if he was 15 and actually knew what he was doing. Not that there is anything wrong with that of he was 15, but it would probably be more Awkward to find out that way.
bkwusa 15
Make sure to take a picture to show your son once he is old enough to know what they are!!
Blunt person 16
So.....where's the problem here?