religionbites621
United States
Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a concrete statue falling on my car. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Jo
United States
Today, there was an earthquake. Good news: the only damage was a tree fell on some loser's car. Bad news: that loser was me. FML
Anonymous
United States
Bashed
Today, I was walking down the street, wearing nothing offensive, minding my own business, when a car drove past and threw something that hit me really hard in the back of my head. It was a Bible. FML
Atheist
Portland, United States
Today, I was waiting for a call from a job I had applied for. When the phone rang, I ran as fast I could up the stairs, falling and slamming my shin on the way. The call? It was a woman asking me, "Hi, do you have time to learn about our lord Jesus Christ?" FML
ThreeMoreYears
Jesus, take the wheel
Today, during my religion class, my instructor decided to use the state of the class's cars as a metaphor for our relationship with God. When I told him my car had been totalled in an accident last week, he yelled at me for being an "agent of Satan." One class down, 59 to go. FML
Username
France
Today, I was woken by the news that my car had been found, but was completely destroyed due to a fire. I didn't even know my car was missing. FML
whatthewoah
United States
Today, I went to the bookstore. While I was in line, I heard everyone talking about how a book cart had gotten loose and rolled down the parking lot into a car, smashing the front. It was my car. FML
charliebravo77
United States
Slippery
Today, I drove into the parking lot at work, and discovered too late that there were patches of ice everywhere. As I turned to enter my usual spot, I lost control of the vehicle, and despite my pleas, praying, and profanity, it glided straight into my boss's car. FML
really?!
Troll level 3000
Today, I found my car with its front end smashed in. The offender was nowhere to be seen, but had left a helpful note that stated, "Sorry about your car but you can go fuck yourself because you will never find me. Muwahahaha!" FML
spyrogers1677
Ottawa, Canada
Grave error
Today, at my job as a funeral director, I fell ass over heels into the grave in front of a hundred mourners and an unamused Catholic priest. FML
munchkin
France
Today, I ran into a car. I suffered a concussion and broke my nose. I wasn't driving. I walked right into it. It was parked. FML
Top comments
MattRoseen 12
The power of Christ compells you!
Mahomie123 0
Jesus is falling from the heavens.. lol
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Comments (139)
RedPillSucks 33
If you were looking for a sign... to stop smoking to stop using crack to go to church to see a good hooker to start using crack, and cigarettes I think you've got it.
chels1994 11
Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there
ambamm135 7
May the power of Christ compel you?
gurlllno 0
"I saw the sign an it opened up my eyes I saw the sign!"Hahahahaha(:
jarredsj26 7
You should keep it and sell it for millions. Lmao
bad_chiquita 5
Too bad you can't sue God for damages. I mean, I really don't know. We can't ever know for sure. I'm agnostic.
bizarre_ftw 22
Jesus loves everyone!! Except you. :)
Mayshod 3
I would love to know how this happens.
MelCristian55 0
Haha jesus is falling from the sky ;) Maybe hes hinting you(:
clsgators 5
Too bad your car isn't made of water..... Jesus can walk on water