Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a concrete statue falling on my car. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, there was an earthquake. Good news: the only damage was a tree fell on some loser's car. Bad news: that loser was me. FML
Bashed
Today, I was walking down the street, wearing nothing offensive, minding my own business, when a car drove past and threw something that hit me really hard in the back of my head. It was a Bible. FML
Today, I was waiting for a call from a job I had applied for. When the phone rang, I ran as fast I could up the stairs, falling and slamming my shin on the way. The call? It was a woman asking me, "Hi, do you have time to learn about our lord Jesus Christ?" FML
Jesus, take the wheel
Today, during my religion class, my instructor decided to use the state of the class's cars as a metaphor for our relationship with God. When I told him my car had been totalled in an accident last week, he yelled at me for being an "agent of Satan." One class down, 59 to go. FML
Today, I was woken by the news that my car had been found, but was completely destroyed due to a fire. I didn't even know my car was missing. FML
Today, I went to the bookstore. While I was in line, I heard everyone talking about how a book cart had gotten loose and rolled down the parking lot into a car, smashing the front. It was my car. FML
Slippery
Today, I drove into the parking lot at work, and discovered too late that there were patches of ice everywhere. As I turned to enter my usual spot, I lost control of the vehicle, and despite my pleas, praying, and profanity, it glided straight into my boss's car. FML
Troll level 3000
Today, I found my car with its front end smashed in. The offender was nowhere to be seen, but had left a helpful note that stated, "Sorry about your car but you can go fuck yourself because you will never find me. Muwahahaha!" FML
Grave error
Today, at my job as a funeral director, I fell ass over heels into the grave in front of a hundred mourners and an unamused Catholic priest. FML
Today, I ran into a car. I suffered a concussion and broke my nose. I wasn't driving. I walked right into it. It was parked. FML
Top comments
MattRoseen 12
The power of Christ compells you!
Mahomie123 0
Jesus is falling from the heavens.. lol
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (139)
Tdevonner 0
Best fml EVER
Locoluis 15
That's not Jesus. That's just a pile of concrete someone made. Don't let something like that change your fundamental beliefs. There's a reason why God commanded us against making religious icons. Eventually, people put their faith in the icons, and they lose their faith when things like this happen. All matter is destined to rot and crumble. Are you like that, too? No? Good.
Bcfrmkc816 17
Do you need a better sign than that to go to church? I know I don't go as much as I should either. At least you are ok
medal9717 8
ACCEPT JESUS BITTCCHH!
MrBoredomioo 18
Christ....
WILBUSCUS 6
This is why Jesus is not the answer lol
whycantisignup 24
shouldnt have sinned!!! god is a fucken tard tho!!1!
ThunderLightTSV 31
Yikes. Guess you don't have a solid statement for that one, Eh? Hahaha...
deathtojesus 20
It's the second coming ?
CAT47LOVE 19
sounds majorly unlikely...