Today, I was waiting for a call from a job I had applied for. When the phone rang, I ran as fast I could up the stairs, falling and slamming my shin on the way. The call? It was a woman asking me, "Hi, do you have time to learn about our lord Jesus Christ?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was waiting at home for a phone call. While I was in the bathroom, the phone rang. I quickly stopped my business and ran out of the bathroom with my pants round my ankles. I leaped over the couch, tripping and then stubbing my toe while hopping to the phone. It was a telemarketer. FML
Today, I was standing on a desk at work to run wiring in a suspended ceiling, since we have no ladder. My phone rang, I rushed to answer it, tripping and smashing my leg. It was my boss, calling to tell me he was bringing over a ladder. FML
Today, the phone rang. I run to get the call, I trip, fall on a metal chair. Tears in my eyes and out of breath I pick up... "Hi, do you have a minute to answer a few questions? It's for a survey." FML
Today, I had a job interview, but I arrived kind of late. I was in so much of a hurry that I hit a woman walking by in the face with the door. I offered to drive her to the hospital. Turns out that she was going to be interviewing me. She didn't offer to reschedule. FML
Today, I arrived to apply for my much-needed dream job. Without warning, just as the elevator opened, a complete stranger kicked me square in the nads. FML
Today, I called a priest "lame". He responded jokingly with "God will smite you!" I laughed and walked out the door. I tripped and broke my ankle. FML
Today, I got a call and was offered a position with a company that I really wanted to work for. I just had to wait a week to confirm that everything was good to go. Ten seconds after ending the call, they called back and said that they'd called the wrong person. The offer was for someone else. FML
Today, I checked my inbox and realized I got an email from a potential employer, saying they were having trouble getting a hold of me by phone. They called while my mom was using my phone to look up directions to a place, and she answered, kindly hanging up when they asked for me. FML
Today, my mom called while I was at a job interview. I ignored the call, but the interviewer was so offended by the fact I'd rudely left it on at all, that he threw me out. I found out from my mom later that she'd called to wish me good luck. FML
Today, the phone rang so I went to answer it. No one was there. A minute later the phone rang again and no one answered so I assumed it was a telemarketer or a prank so I started swearing uncontrollably in rage. Turns out it was my crush calling to ask me out, but she was too nervous to ask. FML
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Top comments
NippsSlipps 10
Ugh I don't like people who call up about their religion. Now change that call to a Hogwarts acceptance letter :)
bertoelmexicano 6
It's her fault you're clumsy and can't climb the stairs properly?
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Comments (25)
broski4life 0
Sorry op I hope you get the job!
NippsSlipps 10
Ugh I don't like people who call up about their religion. Now change that call to a Hogwarts acceptance letter :)
P_to_the_AM 9
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You probably need Jesus, I can only imagine you swearing like a sailor when you fell! Hope you're okay though and that you got the job!
Katiekhalifa_fml 28
This comment reeks of ignorance...
KeyboardWarrior 10
How so?
dominic1221 6
Her comment reeks of sarcasm. You really think a Dutch girl on a site like this is going to be a religious zealot for real?
thisbitchlys 0
Aw op, if the Jesus people call again just answer it screaming.
jjake20140 2
Did you?
williamcarter93 13
This is why I dislike religion. You always have someone trying to push it somewhere. I would have sworn like a wild man.
NippsSlipps 10
Same here.
Epsilonyx 15
No one "pushed" it, they were asked if they'd like to be offered it.
Mirorbo 27
I didn't even know they were allowed to to do that! As if telemarketers from phony credit cart companies weren't bad enough!
hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14
there's this lovely right we still have here in america, its called 'freedom of speech' you should google it ;)
dominic1221 6
You can just tell #11 probably knows nothing at all about the Constitution and probably thinks freedom of speech is ******* absolute. You're the reason we all have a bad reputation, jackass.
Katiekhalifa_fml 28
11 claims to be a "Grammar Nazi", but has horrible grammar.
hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14
well you see, I actually just figured since they're allowed to hand out bibles outside of schools, it's quite obvious they can call you to ask you about your religion. Forgive me for depending on common sense, I forgot this generation seems to lack it.
bertoelmexicano 6
It's her fault you're clumsy and can't climb the stairs properly?
brianjman14 23
First off, it's a guy. And second, if you're running as fast as you can up the stairs, it's very possible to slam into something or trip on the stairs.
TheDirectorFury 2
Goddamn Mormons.
EyeCeYu 7
Hey, mabye Jesus could help with that shin? Just kidding with ya. Hopefully you get a job not involving stairs.