Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I finally went to have blood taken for an allergy test I really need. Afterwards, I had an allergic reaction to the bandaid they used on my arm. FML
Today, I woke up to the faint memory of being drunk enough to draw dicks on my own face in permanent marker. FML
Today, I got my first tattoo. It's a large broadsword which runs the length of my spine. I went home to show it off, only to learn that the hilt on my neck looks just like a penis when the rest of it is covered with my shirt. FML
Today, I took a piss while doing yard work. Later, to my horror, I discovered that I had touched poison oak at some point. My penis is now blistered and swollen. FML
Today, I woke up to large spot of blood in my underwear. This wouldn't be too big a deal if I didn't have a penis. FML
Today, I stole a pen from the doctor's office while she wasn't looking. Later on at work, I idly pulled the pen out during a meeting. My colleague looked at me, horrified. The pen had the words "minimally invasive gynecological surgery" emblazoned on it. I'm a man. FML
Today, at work, I accidentally got ink on my white dress shirt - right by my left nipple. Absentmindedly, I licked my finger and tried rubbing the stain out. When I looked up, the Vice President was staring at me in disbelief. FML
Today, my acne reached a new low. Literally. I'm now getting bright red pimples on my penis. FML
Today, I got a new skin cream for my acne. I tested it on a small patch of skin just to make sure I wasn't allergic. I was, and the reaction didn't stay on that small patch of skin. My left arm is now almost entirely covered in a horrible rash. FML
Today, my roommate drew a giant red penis and scrotum on our refrigerator, using what he thought was a dry erase marker. It was a permanent marker. I just renewed my lease. I get to look at a red penis every day for the next year and a half. FML
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Top comments
texashater75 16
Give it time and the swelling should go down. If not, try rubbing it with some lotion and tissues.
mackdeezy 22
Try explaining that one to the doctor. YDI
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Comments (99)
perdix 31
It's a miracle! You ought to go to a sleazy bar, and pick up three skanky girls to pleasure with the three large penises on your arm.
ItsAnanya 25
Usually people would write their Names or draw some symbols yeah? Not...penises xD But oh well, being normal is too mainstream C: Go see the doctor OP and thanks for making me laugh :D
The_Thinker 18
Dick move.
born_hustla 26
What's with the penises?!
Porcei 18
Aha! The allergic reaction isn't even the result of anything creative. You totally deserve it.
homiwan 13
I have some bad news for you!
jrugg15 5
So I'm guessing you really like dick?
simplysarcastics 26
I cannot help but laugh at this silliness. Thats why our parents told us not to write on ourselves, say it with me, ink is for paper not skin! But op i knew it was invisible ink but why not a cool message instead of penises occupying your arm. Living in the moment i guess, hope that mess clears up soon op.
Kitten_Calderon 14
Why would you even draw penises on your arm, out of all things to draw? YDI
RoboCunnilingus 23
Special glasses, like the kind in Hollow Man.