Today, at work, I accidentally got ink on my white dress shirt - right by my left nipple. Absentmindedly, I licked my finger and tried rubbing the stain out. When I looked up, the Vice President was staring at me in disbelief. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was doing a big presentation at work and got nervous. My white shirt showed massive sweat stains in the most unfortunate places, including my lower stomach, making it look like I had peed myself standing up. FML
Today, I had a meeting at work with my board of directors for a potential promotion. When one of them told a joke, I politely let out an amused snort. Then, I noticed my director's white shirt and tie covered in red splatter. I nose bled all over the director of my company. FML
Today, it was my first day of work at a very high end company. While delivering coffee to my boss, I set it down on the edge of a magazine, where it spilled over, into his crotch. FML
Today, while at work, a customer came up to me, stuck his finger in my armpit, then licked his finger. FML
Today, after taking my jacket off at work, I found a large faint stain all across one side of my shirt. Turns out that my fiancé had used it to "clean up the bed." I am the manager of a supermarket with 40 employees. It was pretty obvious what it was. FML
Today, I took a quick nap in my car during my lunch break. When I woke up, I had drooled all over myself and had a large wet stain on my shirt. I tried to pretend it was a "sweat stain" but ended up walking into a meeting looking like I'd been caught in a downpour of my own making. FML
Today, I spilled coffee on my shirt and had to change before a big meeting. The only clean shirt I had was a gift from my brother. I didn’t notice it said "World’s Okayest Employee" on it until I was sat in the meeting. FML
Today, I was on the phone with a client, when the gum I was casually chewing fell out of my mouth and down my shirt. While I was trying to dig it out, two of our newest customers walked into the lobby to see what looked like me fondling my breasts. FML
Today, while at work, I had to poop. While wiping, I somehow managed to get the back tail of my shirt in between my butthole and the toilet paper, effectively wiping my ass with my white dress shirt. FML
Today, I rushed to work after spilling coffee on my shirt and thought I’d dried it enough. Under the office lights, it looked like a giant brown stain. Three people asked if I was OK. I spent the whole day hunched over my desk pretending nothing was wrong. FML
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Top comments
Intoxicunt 6
That wasn't disbelief, it was amazement and arousal. (You mean "ink" not "pen".)
allmidnighteyes 11
He only wishes he could've "accidentally" gotten "ink" on your nipple ;D
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Comments (89)
Intoxicunt 6
That wasn't disbelief, it was amazement and arousal. (You mean "ink" not "pen".)
GR3453m0nk3y 4
i'm assuming the OP changed "pen" to "ink" ??????
BlaisOf_Fire91 0
That's what I thought too...
Watchmaker 2
Ahah! I'm not alone!
Intoxicunt 6
Yeah. I think one of the staff members did, actually.
DameGreyWulf 1
Intoxi, I know it would be for me! Oh, baby~ lmfao OP, that's just great
icall_BS 0
If your VP is a girl, keep rubbing and stare her in the eye. You never knoooww..
bubbly31 0
obama posted this
The_9th_Doctor 18
it says ink.
allmidnighteyes 11
He only wishes he could've "accidentally" gotten "ink" on your nipple ;D
StudBoiAyeEm 0
lmao!
RaverYusuke 0
I swear, boss, my pen(is) got ink all over me.
folfg0 12
Retard! You don't get it, op is a GUY! Fail.
teentee401 37
Homosexuality exists, dumbass
cutiepiex3 0
ouch >.>
ImThePope 2
Your boobs are showing.
Immapauls 0
Hey email me [email protected]
kerrygirl 13
and its at that point you should have laughed it off and joked about it......not just sit there and let it become a FML
xMooMoox 0
Lmao you're awesome!
shamille 5
he'd be too busy picking his nose.
danielw 0
LMAO!!!! that i favorited the fml you reffered to. It's my favorite.
evilgingy 1
I'm sorry! I accidentally hit the dislike button, cause I'm doing this on my phone.... I meant like!!!!
katherinebby17 28
lol im sorry but thats funny
leili 0
LOL!!!! This is the best fml ever!!!!
ireply_w_lyrics 0
"...I ran on whiskey and burned like gas, I went too far, I went too fast I’d light a fire, just to walk right through it Busted bones, dreams and tears, tattoo my heart like souvenirs life is just a word till you go through it, I’ve got the scars to prove it I lost good friends over foolish pride, drank with the devil just to feel alive I’d build a mountain, then I'd try to move it yeah and I thought that I was pretty tough, till I was brought down by a woman’s touch I got the scars to prove it..." And to add to this list today, i saw another man rub his nipple at me. This shall achieve it's own verse....
020266t 5
what the?!?!
kittykat1497 7
you HAVE to show me the next verse in this
jhb33 4
Me 2!
reemiixxx 0
hahaha thats something that would happen to me.
whyowhy26 3
I doubt saliva can make ink come off clothes.
LaytonexLuke 0
Haha, win #2, just what we were all thinking. XD -------- Vlog = http://www.youtube.com/user/CynicalDyke