Today, I found a used condom in my trash can. I have been happily married to my wife for 7 years, and we use other forms of birth control. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found a used condom and wrapper in the bathroom trash can at my girlfriends house. The condom is not a brand I've ever used. She lives alone. FML
Today, I found a used condom in my bed. I haven't had sex in months and now I'm terrified. FML
Today, I was cleaning out from underneath my bed and found a used condom. I've never had sex in my own room. FML
Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML
Today, after having gone off the pill a couple of weeks ago, I finally got my old friskiness back only to find part of a condom wrapper in my husband's pocket. Turns out he was impatient and went elsewhere. FML
Today, I found out I'm pregnant. Yesterday, I finally came to my senses and started using birth control. FML
Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML
Today, my boyfriend confided to me that he has a used condom collection. When I reacted with disgust, he "reassured" me that he only keeps the ones he uses with me. FML
Today, I went in for a routine check up. I also found out I have an incurable STD and that I’m pregnant. I’ve been married to my husband for seven years and have never had sex with anyone else in my entire life. FML
Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML
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Top comments
Xx_Nikky_xX 4
Surprise!
steve412 0
Don't be quick to assume things. You'll make things worse.
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Comments (280)
zinoxity 23
The amount of ignorance in that comment is astonishing. Or so he thought? Yes, of course. It makes total sense that he used a condom without knowing so. /Sarcasm.
icallbullshit 3
End it, she obviously doesn't value your marriage enough. The first mistake should be the last mistake.
Bigboned38 0
Spoken like someone who has never been married, people make mistakes, you need to have a serious talk get a counselor don't just walk away, for better or worse right
Sidel 11
If you have kids in that age, it's most likely theirs. But ask your wife about it.
emmaa3451 11
Well not really seeing as they've been married for 7 years.
dcg1375 7
Unless they are from a previous marriage
SayPeanuts 29
They could of been together for a few years before they got married.
Ruffclue 9
She took one for the team.
RedPillSucks 33
There would be more than one condom if an entire team was involved
coffee_man900 16
He said, "She took ONE for the team," not "Did the team." :)
Mirorbo 27
Yes, because herpes magically appears between two clean partners.
coffee_man900 16
Wow. That's a tough one. If the trash can was in the house, as opposed to the roadside, then you have a problem. Don't start making accusations. If she admits to it, pick up a hooker, explain the situation to her, bring her home, and tell your future ex-wife that she must sleep on the couch tonight because you have company. Just trying to help. Really sorry about your problem. No one should have to go through that mess. :)
dwvork 6
As much as that sucks, it's better than her getting pregnant and you raising the kid. Either way she's got some 'splaning to do. Good luck
RedPillSucks 33
*splainin* Cuban grammar nazi
snippit 18
Married restart
gracehi 33
Well at least she had the curtesy of using a condom when she cheated on you. I had a similar experience with my ex-husband. I found an unopened box of condoms in the center console of our car. I confronted him about it and he came up with this bullshit.story about him picking his friend up from a girl's house and him leaving the box of condoms in the car. I was skeptical. I asked "Who would leave a box of condoms in the CENTER CONSOLE of someone else's car? On the passenger seat maybe, but the center console? And if you picked him up from 'a girl's house', why was the box unopened?" But he insisted, and eventually I just up. Later I found out irrefutably that he had in fact been sleeping around like a desperate crack *****. OP, don't believe buy the bull shit she is sure to feed you. I suggest you file for divorce now.
fentron 3
Is that why he's your ex?
ashhxoxo 14
April Fools!
LuckyTroll 6
Not april fools though
jagsville 8
We are still in March.