Today, I finally met the cute guy I've been seeing around town. Bad news is, I was drunk off my ass, and when he told me his name, I burst out laughing because it's the same as my puppy's. He did not take it well. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I met a really nice guy. He was funny, handsome, and we were both into each other. He told me his name, and when I replied with mine, it came out sounding like "I'm a bear." FML
Today, I was at McDonald's. I bumped into a guy, and as I was helping him pick up his food, I realized he was cute. I began smiling and I was about to introduce myself, when he began laughing and said, "It's you! I've heard about you!" He left laughing. I still don't know who he is, or what made him laugh. FML
Today, I was so drunk that I gave my mom's number instead of mine to the really cute guy I met at the bar. FML
Today, I ran into an attractive friend of a friend who I hadn't seen since a night out last month. I tried my best to be friendly and interesting, but he still seemed awkward. Later I find out that last time he saw me, I was blind drunk and vomiting after propositioning him all evening. FML
Today, I saw a guy at a bar that looked cute. I didn't dare talk to him, though. When I was on my way home, drunkenly singing the entire way, I finally noticed he was walking along behind me. Probably for about 15 minutes. FML
Today, I ran into an attractive friend of a friend I hadn't seen since a night out last month. I tried my best to be friendly and interesting, but he still seemed awkward. Later I found out that the last time he saw me I was blind drunk and vomiting after having propositioned him all evening. FML
Today, a guy I've been seeing called me really drunk again to talk about his and his cat's angst. He put me on speaker so I could have a meowing-conversation with his cat to soothe her. FML
Today, I met my fiancé's parents for the first time. The only problem was that I was highly intoxicated. FML
Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my dog, hoping they’d get along. I told my boyfriend, “Don’t worry, he never jumps on anyone.” Immediately, my dog jumped, not onto my boyfriend but right into my lap, knocking my glass of red wine all over my trousers. My boyfriend patted the dog and said, “At least someone’s happy to see you.” FML
Today, I drunk texted a guy I like. We'd met at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. FML
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Top comments
happyhak 5
QUEST START Objective: To find the guy of your dreams and greet him WITHOUT being intoxicated Reward: The best one night stand you have ever had Things needed for this Quest: Common Sense
DallasMavs 3
You had your chance and you blew it. What was his name anyways?
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Comments (119)
SamCat 21
if you ever bump into that guy while walking your dog, just yell his name and say "good boy, come here, now sit" haha
DakAttack95 0
I clicked YDI solely because there was 999 of them already there. The temptation was too much!
Regmeister 10
I know a kid named Baxter. That's my twins dog's name too... Welcome to the South.
KleeTEE_fml 0
I moderated this :3
TheSofaKing 7
If you give him a little pussy, he may forgive you:)
DarkStarTheFirst 9
Puppy love gone wrong???
starrnao 15
well, alcohol gives you the confidence to do things you wouldn't normally. but then again, it also makes you act silly =] it's ok OP, i'm sure he won't hold a grudge
jobsman99 0
Give him a ********. He will not mind that earlier episode.
FlyingWhisps 5
Sounds like you were pretty drunk. Nothing a gift and a meaningful apology can't fix.
cheergirl900 0
its not his fault you were drunk
Ins0mau 20
Who said it WAS?
dgafbritt 0
Haha That Funny :)
upyourzlolz 11
*Haha, that's funny. Now, let's play teacher. For every grammatical error, you will lose points. Since this is only 3 words, you will lose 1/3 of your grade for every error. Haha That Funny Well, there goes points for missing the comma. And another 33% for forgetting the period. Now, we have: Haha, That Funny. What's this? We need to change the word that to that is, or that's. You now have a 0. Haha, That's Funny. But wait! There's more! Every word is capitalized! Now I have to take another 66%! Congratulations. You earned a -66%.