Today, I finally met the cute guy I've been seeing around town. Bad news is, I was drunk off my ass, and when he told me his name, I burst out laughing because it's the same as my puppy's. He did not take it well. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I met a really nice guy. He was funny, handsome, and we were both into each other. He told me his name, and when I replied with mine, it came out sounding like "I'm a bear." FML
Today, I was at McDonald's. I bumped into a guy, and as I was helping him pick up his food, I realized he was cute. I began smiling and I was about to introduce myself, when he began laughing and said, "It's you! I've heard about you!" He left laughing. I still don't know who he is, or what made him laugh. FML
Today, I was so drunk that I gave my mom's number instead of mine to the really cute guy I met at the bar. FML
Today, I ran into an attractive friend of a friend who I hadn't seen since a night out last month. I tried my best to be friendly and interesting, but he still seemed awkward. Later I find out that last time he saw me, I was blind drunk and vomiting after propositioning him all evening. FML
Today, I saw a guy at a bar that looked cute. I didn't dare talk to him, though. When I was on my way home, drunkenly singing the entire way, I finally noticed he was walking along behind me. Probably for about 15 minutes. FML
Today, I ran into an attractive friend of a friend I hadn't seen since a night out last month. I tried my best to be friendly and interesting, but he still seemed awkward. Later I found out that the last time he saw me I was blind drunk and vomiting after having propositioned him all evening. FML
Today, a guy I've been seeing called me really drunk again to talk about his and his cat's angst. He put me on speaker so I could have a meowing-conversation with his cat to soothe her. FML
Today, I met my fiancé's parents for the first time. The only problem was that I was highly intoxicated. FML
Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my dog, hoping they’d get along. I told my boyfriend, “Don’t worry, he never jumps on anyone.” Immediately, my dog jumped, not onto my boyfriend but right into my lap, knocking my glass of red wine all over my trousers. My boyfriend patted the dog and said, “At least someone’s happy to see you.” FML
Today, I drunk texted a guy I like. We'd met at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
happyhak 5
QUEST START Objective: To find the guy of your dreams and greet him WITHOUT being intoxicated Reward: The best one night stand you have ever had Things needed for this Quest: Common Sense
DallasMavs 3
You had your chance and you blew it. What was his name anyways?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (119)
j_cat187 20
I would find that funny.
sheethapins 13
Did you do the creep-ahhh?
mrdiehler 0
Wait his names Rex hahaha jk
MarjoCupcake 11
Was his name Mister Fluffy McCuddle Loves?
clnloveskbk 0
Way to go, bro.
joshangle 0
Stupid drunk
Okayitwasme 0
That's why we name our pets after fictitious character like: Rambo, Tonka, Frodo, Malfoy, Snape, Gandoff, Mimzie, Tex, Little Foot, Petre, Duckie, Strider, Pippin, Gollum. It' more fun that way!
badwolfbluebox 7
My friend keeps making fun of me for the cute guy's name, which he knows 6 dogs of the same name. His name is Milo.
kaykay20 0
Even if you were sober you most likely would have laughed and that's not always a bad thing. In this case it seems he took it as a insult though. Don't see why he couldn't just laugh it off with you and make a joke about it. Would make for a interesting conversation you don't encounter that very often.
lukitem 3
Not really sure why someone would take that as an insult; sounds like he's too anal to be worth your time. But man I've been there, I've made some really bad comments lol.