Today, I finally figured out why my mechanic was so cheap; he wanted to sleep with me. After I politely declined, he charged me regular price plus extra for "humiliating" him. He's 60. I just recently turned 18. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I finally lost my virginity. Too bad it cost me every last shred of self-respect and involved begging a hooker to take my money. FML
Today, the guy whose son I babysat for six hours straight confessed to being broke, then actually asked if he could pay me with sex instead. FML
Today, excited that I finally got a place of my own, I invited my boyfriend over for a sexy sleep over. He told me his mom doesn't want him sleeping over. He's 21 years old. FML
Today, as I often do, I had sex in my old car. I'm 25, my boyfriend is 28 and we're still living with our parents. FML
Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML
Today, I was at work on a smoke break. I work at a truck stop, and it was around 2 a.m. Some old man pulled in and asked me if I would like to join him for some dinner. I said no, and told him I was working. He replied, "How much do you charge?" Apparently, even in sweats I look like a hooker. FML
Today, a man asked me on a date. It's been so long, I accepted immediately. He began quoting what seemed like random numbers to me, and it took me a few minutes to work out what he meant. Not only was I mistaken for a prostitute, I'm also worth, at most, $60. FML
Today, my mom came home unusually early from work and walked in on me hooking up with a guy. What made it more embarrassing is the fact that I’m 19 and my hookup is 52. FML
Today, as I was fueling my truck, I was asked out to dinner by a 65-year-old retiree. I'm 25. He stormed off and called me a bitch for politely turning him down. FML
Today, I had to take my horribly misogynistic grandad to get his car repaired. After it was done, he realised the repair had been done by a female mechanic, so he refused to pay or leave until a “proper mechanic” checked over his car to make sure she hadn’t fucked it up. FML
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Top comments
hannahtaskey 9
Horny old man...
borntoperform 14
Bow chicka wow wow
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Comments (184)
creedaddict 9
Was it Buttafucco?
Holy_ish 19
get him fired for it
PapSmearNinja 4
hahaha old and greasy
SecretlyEvil9792 22
FYL.
christyk26 0
What an ass... At least you're legal now...?
MaloPero 4
take your boyfriend, friends or brother, beat him and take your money back. jk, but you should report him. i am sure this is not his first time.
lokrar789 7
Do it... Do it... Do it... DO IT!!! I PITY DA FOOL WHO DOESNT DO IT!!!!
hersheybar100 10
Sue his ass and don't pay him!!!!
2010shawn2011 0
I guess you should have let him check your oil!!!
BluubSaidTheFish 6
Sue him for sexual intimidation and get rich ^^
simplylost643 0
What the hell is "sexual intimidation", and please say you were joking about the sue him part. Our courts are way to crowded now without every yahoo who gets propositioned trying to get a cash win fall out of it.