Today, I finally figured out why my mechanic was so cheap; he wanted to sleep with me. After I politely declined, he charged me regular price plus extra for "humiliating" him. He's 60. I just recently turned 18. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I finally lost my virginity. Too bad it cost me every last shred of self-respect and involved begging a hooker to take my money. FML
Today, the guy whose son I babysat for six hours straight confessed to being broke, then actually asked if he could pay me with sex instead. FML
Today, excited that I finally got a place of my own, I invited my boyfriend over for a sexy sleep over. He told me his mom doesn't want him sleeping over. He's 21 years old. FML
Today, as I often do, I had sex in my old car. I'm 25, my boyfriend is 28 and we're still living with our parents. FML
Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML
Today, I was at work on a smoke break. I work at a truck stop, and it was around 2 a.m. Some old man pulled in and asked me if I would like to join him for some dinner. I said no, and told him I was working. He replied, "How much do you charge?" Apparently, even in sweats I look like a hooker. FML
Today, a man asked me on a date. It's been so long, I accepted immediately. He began quoting what seemed like random numbers to me, and it took me a few minutes to work out what he meant. Not only was I mistaken for a prostitute, I'm also worth, at most, $60. FML
Today, my mom came home unusually early from work and walked in on me hooking up with a guy. What made it more embarrassing is the fact that I’m 19 and my hookup is 52. FML
Today, as I was fueling my truck, I was asked out to dinner by a 65-year-old retiree. I'm 25. He stormed off and called me a bitch for politely turning him down. FML
Today, I had to take my horribly misogynistic grandad to get his car repaired. After it was done, he realised the repair had been done by a female mechanic, so he refused to pay or leave until a “proper mechanic” checked over his car to make sure she hadn’t fucked it up. FML
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Top comments
hannahtaskey 9
Horny old man...
borntoperform 14
Bow chicka wow wow
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Comments (184)
Levvy 22
An alternative thought: Depending on your state's recording laws, if you could get an audio recording of him discussing the subject (use a pocket MP3 player with a microphone or similar), that might also hold up in court. Even if all you do is argue about it, you just need him to own up to it. Look up whether your state has anything like single-party consent to recording.
Calyx_fml 22
It's called flirtation. You're an adult now. Get used to it. And don't be afraid to say yes now and then.
Raheemdplayer 7
Wow FYL, I hope you weren't alone with him in that garage when he said this, you could be lucky you're alive!
MernieAnne 0
Ewwww...find a new mechanic.
heresjuju 2
He wants to get under your hood. ;D
hzsambo 3
i love it
BbqKirbyAnn 0
Guess that makes him a provert
Firate 3
In this tough economy, you should just suck it up (pun intended) and sleep with him. :/
hyden121 2
File a lawsuit and notify the automative repair bureau.
mitzpitz 0
Gross
despicable25 0
Gross...