The price of love

Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML

Dream lover

Today, I went on a date with a guy I've been flirting with at work. Some coworkers had discreetly warned me about him, but I thought he was cute. We get to the date, and after an hour of small talk, he spent the next two hours trying to get me to invest in his crypto coin thing that "is definitely going to be huge." FML

Today, I went on a date with a guy who seemed to be quite the gentleman. I was proven wrong when he told me to "shut it" during dinner, stiffed me on the bill, and then left me at the restaurant so he could get his own taxi home. FML

Today, I was in a dating auction. I was bought for $2. The man who won a date with me recited every dialog from the movie The Lord of the Rings. FML

Today, I was finally asked out on a date after a year of being single. Turns out he got the wrong number. FML

Great date night

Today, a coworker invited me out for a date, totally out of the blue. I had no idea she liked me, but I did my best to impress. She ordered the most expensive steak on the menu, two bottles of wine, and eventually picked up and went home with our waiter. I got the bill. FML

Online predators exist in many forms

Today, some girl hit me up and was flirting with me over text. It turns out she was doing it for money and it’s been so long that I almost fell for it. FML

Today, a first date with a guy went so badly that he actually paid me to never call him again. FML

Today, I was mistaken for a prostitute. Twice. While in my work uniform. FML

Today, I went on a date for the first time in eight months. He didn't make a move. I then asked if we were on a date. He said, "I don't know, I guess." I can't tell either. FML