Today, I finally figured out why my mechanic was so cheap; he wanted to sleep with me. After I politely declined, he charged me regular price plus extra for "humiliating" him. He's 60. I just recently turned 18. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I finally lost my virginity. Too bad it cost me every last shred of self-respect and involved begging a hooker to take my money. FML
Today, the guy whose son I babysat for six hours straight confessed to being broke, then actually asked if he could pay me with sex instead. FML
Today, excited that I finally got a place of my own, I invited my boyfriend over for a sexy sleep over. He told me his mom doesn't want him sleeping over. He's 21 years old. FML
Today, as I often do, I had sex in my old car. I'm 25, my boyfriend is 28 and we're still living with our parents. FML
Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML
Today, I was at work on a smoke break. I work at a truck stop, and it was around 2 a.m. Some old man pulled in and asked me if I would like to join him for some dinner. I said no, and told him I was working. He replied, "How much do you charge?" Apparently, even in sweats I look like a hooker. FML
Today, a man asked me on a date. It's been so long, I accepted immediately. He began quoting what seemed like random numbers to me, and it took me a few minutes to work out what he meant. Not only was I mistaken for a prostitute, I'm also worth, at most, $60. FML
Today, my mom came home unusually early from work and walked in on me hooking up with a guy. What made it more embarrassing is the fact that I’m 19 and my hookup is 52. FML
Today, as I was fueling my truck, I was asked out to dinner by a 65-year-old retiree. I'm 25. He stormed off and called me a bitch for politely turning him down. FML
Today, I had to take my horribly misogynistic grandad to get his car repaired. After it was done, he realised the repair had been done by a female mechanic, so he refused to pay or leave until a “proper mechanic” checked over his car to make sure she hadn’t fucked it up. FML
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Top comments
hannahtaskey 9
Horny old man...
borntoperform 14
Bow chicka wow wow
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Comments (184)
mooshyface26 0
Disusting. >.
wsquah 4
It's called Barter trade.
kingatowning 2
Juliaalove..... Would know first hand?
kingatowning 2
Juliaaalove... Would you know first hand? So you being told something probably means you've asked around because you may have partaken such activity. It's okay juiliaaalove.... We all have fetishes. If it makes you feel anyy better I have a fetish for large **** and the urge to motor-yacht(because they're huge) them.
catnip1997 0
his shop is open for business for you? why isn't yours open?
SuperSukh 6
O.o what a creeper
SuperSukh 6
*sniffs the air* I smell a lawsuit...and, ew. My moms cooking.
wriptidez 0
get. ur dad over there
jobsman99 0
that is strange. I had a friend in college that gave blow jobs regularly to about 30 different guys and never paid for any car repair, plumbing, home repair or anything. i mowed her lawn. still do.
baseballplaya5 7
Smart friend
guitarplayer546 0
You know you could go to other places, nit only that I would speak to the owner assuming it was not him.