Today, I finally convinced a girl that I liked to have sex. I decided to swoop her off the feet like the movies and carry her to my bed. I ended up hitting her head on the door frame, knocking her out. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a girl I have been wanting for years told me she was drunk and needed me to take her home. On the way home she was very frisky and flirty, and I kept telling her to wait till we got to her place. When we finally arrived, she passed out on me and I was stuck there watching her sleep. FML
Today, I asked a girl out and made plans to go see a movie. About 5 minutes in, I made a move to put my arm around her and smashed her in the face. FML
Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML
Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with a girl from home who I'd wanted for a long time. She has low blood pressure problems though, and when things got hot, she passed out while she was on top of me, fell and hit her head on the night stand. FML
Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML
Today, I drove my girlfriend home around 11pm to her garage where we started to have sex. When she came to climax she slipped and hit her head. Her parents heard the crash and came down; we were both still naked, and she was unconscious. FML
Today, I met a really nice girl at a club, and we went back to my place. I was finally going to lose my virginity, but just as she started kissing me, I panicked and ended up fainting. When I came to, I was still clothed, and she was long gone. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I had gotten tipsy and found ourselves in the bedroom. We started to fool around and she leaned over to put her watch on the nightstand. I tried to undo her bra, which surprised her, because she elbowed me in the nose so hard that I ended up passing out from the pain. FML
Today, I tried to impress a girl by draping my arm over the back of her chair. I ended up elbowing her in the nose. FML
Today, I was having sex and wanted to move to the wall, so I picked her up, got my foot stuck in my blanket, and dropped her on the floor. FML
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Top comments
woofer_fml 0
LOL. ahahahahaha Note to self, "we're not in movies"
jennaleigh 0
You fail to mention whether you proceeded or not. Oh, and good job, sparky.
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Comments (238)
lowcapacityx 0
Aha! Seriously? I feel bad for the girl and sounds like someone was a tad bit too anxious to have sex. Maybe it's a sign from god to save yourself.
MukyDaCookie 0
Guys, get over his choice of words and look to the content. He persuades a girl to get into bed with him, and as he romanticaly sweeps her off her feet, he bangs her head on the doorway and knocks her out. Ultimate fail. Im sorry to hear that man, I hope she will still want to go at it once she wakes up
jsmith1199 4
its ok.. theyre better when theyre motionless anyway
Curiouser 0
#34: I could be wrong, so I'll own up to that, but I'm pretty sure there's a difference between what you did and what it sounds like the OP did. I mean, for me at least it's one thing to maturely discuss sex with a SO and have them change their mind after hearing your reasons. But judging by the word choices of the OP, it sounds like they had been trying to convince/pressure a girl they weren't in a relationship with for some time.
Anonym123 0
Might as well get what you can before she wakes up, cause she won't talk to you anymore then.
Jasen_fml 0
I normally don't have trouble convincing girls that I enjoy having sex, but I guess if it is so unbelievable reacting like that may be appropriate.
YouMustBe_Joking 0
Dude, you must have tried to sprint through the doorway, cuz that's the only way you could hit her head hard enough to knock her out.
Common_Sense 0
Psh, what a nasty loser. You should never have to CONVINCE somebody to have sex. You totally deserved to not get laid. You should never get laid, you're an ass.
breaksprinter_ 0
Ahahahahaha, that's what you get for not dating her, because obviously you're not if you said said "girl I like" versus "girlfriend", but either way, sorry you didn't get to make whoopie. :( damned the luck. Although I do also agree with #42.
usaywhat 0
this sounds fake but it must happen enough to be made fun of in the movies