Today, I finally convinced a girl that I liked to have sex. I decided to swoop her off the feet like the movies and carry her to my bed. I ended up hitting her head on the door frame, knocking her out. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a girl I have been wanting for years told me she was drunk and needed me to take her home. On the way home she was very frisky and flirty, and I kept telling her to wait till we got to her place. When we finally arrived, she passed out on me and I was stuck there watching her sleep. FML
Today, I asked a girl out and made plans to go see a movie. About 5 minutes in, I made a move to put my arm around her and smashed her in the face. FML
Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML
Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with a girl from home who I'd wanted for a long time. She has low blood pressure problems though, and when things got hot, she passed out while she was on top of me, fell and hit her head on the night stand. FML
Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML
Today, I drove my girlfriend home around 11pm to her garage where we started to have sex. When she came to climax she slipped and hit her head. Her parents heard the crash and came down; we were both still naked, and she was unconscious. FML
Today, I met a really nice girl at a club, and we went back to my place. I was finally going to lose my virginity, but just as she started kissing me, I panicked and ended up fainting. When I came to, I was still clothed, and she was long gone. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I had gotten tipsy and found ourselves in the bedroom. We started to fool around and she leaned over to put her watch on the nightstand. I tried to undo her bra, which surprised her, because she elbowed me in the nose so hard that I ended up passing out from the pain. FML
Today, I tried to impress a girl by draping my arm over the back of her chair. I ended up elbowing her in the nose. FML
Today, I was having sex and wanted to move to the wall, so I picked her up, got my foot stuck in my blanket, and dropped her on the floor. FML
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Top comments
woofer_fml 0
LOL. ahahahahaha Note to self, "we're not in movies"
jennaleigh 0
You fail to mention whether you proceeded or not. Oh, and good job, sparky.
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Comments (238)
cthulhu1138 1
How is convincing someone to have sex borderline rape? By those standards, all advertisers would be in jail for larceny.
savy_77 0
I saw the girl version on here not long ago...
Carlynator09 0
haha FAIL!!!!! but that sux, im guessing that she didnt want to do it with you after that
the_poop_bandit 0
"a girl that you like"? so does she like you back? because if she did wouldnt that constitute you calling her a "girlfriend" or " a girl youve been talking to" instead of "a girl that you like." this girl must be real **** and needed a slam to the head
planetearth 0
It's probably because you wanted to swoop her off of her feet instead of sweeping her off of her feet like you're supposed to. DUH.
LoveMeTURBO 0
god... this is worse than the sombrero fail.....
Toadlord 0
All the better for you dude.
jayhawk63 0
This is definitely a repeat. Either that or there are two people in this world who think all sex should be "like the movies" and really fail at it...which is just too much to think about.
Tall_Kid 0
so.... did you keep going after she was out?
woahmanmeaghan 0
53...i'm pretty sure my (now ex) boyfriend would disagree with you on the sex bit. it was just a question of whether or not we were ready for it. he needed more time to think about it, and since i was in favor of it, i told him my reasons for wanting to. face it, not everyone is going to be of the same opinion at the same time. the reason people talk about sex is to figure out if they're 'ready,' and to state your case to let the other person see why you think it's a good or bad idea. i would say that's pretty close to convincing. you're reading a bit too into the word choice here. i'm gonna side with 55 and 56 here.