Today, I finally convinced a girl that I liked to have sex. I decided to swoop her off the feet like the movies and carry her to my bed. I ended up hitting her head on the door frame, knocking her out. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a girl I have been wanting for years told me she was drunk and needed me to take her home. On the way home she was very frisky and flirty, and I kept telling her to wait till we got to her place. When we finally arrived, she passed out on me and I was stuck there watching her sleep. FML
Today, I asked a girl out and made plans to go see a movie. About 5 minutes in, I made a move to put my arm around her and smashed her in the face. FML
Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML
Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with a girl from home who I'd wanted for a long time. She has low blood pressure problems though, and when things got hot, she passed out while she was on top of me, fell and hit her head on the night stand. FML
Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML
Today, I drove my girlfriend home around 11pm to her garage where we started to have sex. When she came to climax she slipped and hit her head. Her parents heard the crash and came down; we were both still naked, and she was unconscious. FML
Today, I met a really nice girl at a club, and we went back to my place. I was finally going to lose my virginity, but just as she started kissing me, I panicked and ended up fainting. When I came to, I was still clothed, and she was long gone. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I had gotten tipsy and found ourselves in the bedroom. We started to fool around and she leaned over to put her watch on the nightstand. I tried to undo her bra, which surprised her, because she elbowed me in the nose so hard that I ended up passing out from the pain. FML
Today, I tried to impress a girl by draping my arm over the back of her chair. I ended up elbowing her in the nose. FML
Today, I was having sex and wanted to move to the wall, so I picked her up, got my foot stuck in my blanket, and dropped her on the floor. FML
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Top comments
woofer_fml 0
LOL. ahahahahaha Note to self, "we're not in movies"
jennaleigh 0
You fail to mention whether you proceeded or not. Oh, and good job, sparky.
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Comments (238)
prashn64 0
This exact FML was posted a while ago from the girl's point of view. I'm guessing this is copypasta.
lpaul49 0
#98: WTF is copypasta. Sounds like a really disgusting Italian dish.
theatregrl2 0
I agree with #90 and 94, those of you who are saying that he should've just had sex with her when she was unconscious are horrible people, especially if you really mean it. Even if it's a joke it's not a funny joke. How would you like it if it was your sister or daughter or best friend who was knocked unconscious and then '******' anyway? If anyone deserves to not get laid it's you guys. OP: Real life isn't anything like the movies, hasn't anyone ever told you that?
SgtSchadenfreude 0
"Today, I finally convinced a girl that I liked to have sex." LOL!!! I'm sorry, but even the first line had me cracking up. Girlfriend: :::Gasp!:::: "You like having sex? You dirty liar!"
letstrythis 0
God, that's a horribly unclear sentence. You don't deserve to get laid. Oh, and good job knocking her out...
cclark589 0
Sheesh people! I'm sure that this is the most grammatically offensive sentence you could find on FML, and I want to thank you for attacking the writing so vigorously. I mean, I find that every other sentence in every other entry is grammatically pristine. :::rolls eyes::: Sure, there may be some ambiguity to this sentence, but I'm sure you got the meaning and just wanted to nitpick like assholes. So back off the poor guy--he already got blue-balled! But that situation sucks. If I were the girl, I'd be pissed!
no_fear 0
Well, that worked out well.
dibbler 0
F*ck her life more likely.....
GloomySkyz 0
And then suddenly, You find out she's brainwashed and doesn't wanna have sex with you.
lacotuitblue 0
THANK you #26. If you had to convince her, that's a FAIL right there.