Today, I finally convinced a girl that I liked to have sex. I decided to swoop her off the feet like the movies and carry her to my bed. I ended up hitting her head on the door frame, knocking her out. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a girl I have been wanting for years told me she was drunk and needed me to take her home. On the way home she was very frisky and flirty, and I kept telling her to wait till we got to her place. When we finally arrived, she passed out on me and I was stuck there watching her sleep. FML
Today, I asked a girl out and made plans to go see a movie. About 5 minutes in, I made a move to put my arm around her and smashed her in the face. FML
Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML
Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with a girl from home who I'd wanted for a long time. She has low blood pressure problems though, and when things got hot, she passed out while she was on top of me, fell and hit her head on the night stand. FML
Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML
Today, I drove my girlfriend home around 11pm to her garage where we started to have sex. When she came to climax she slipped and hit her head. Her parents heard the crash and came down; we were both still naked, and she was unconscious. FML
Today, I met a really nice girl at a club, and we went back to my place. I was finally going to lose my virginity, but just as she started kissing me, I panicked and ended up fainting. When I came to, I was still clothed, and she was long gone. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I had gotten tipsy and found ourselves in the bedroom. We started to fool around and she leaned over to put her watch on the nightstand. I tried to undo her bra, which surprised her, because she elbowed me in the nose so hard that I ended up passing out from the pain. FML
Today, I tried to impress a girl by draping my arm over the back of her chair. I ended up elbowing her in the nose. FML
Today, I was having sex and wanted to move to the wall, so I picked her up, got my foot stuck in my blanket, and dropped her on the floor. FML
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Top comments
woofer_fml 0
LOL. ahahahahaha Note to self, "we're not in movies"
jennaleigh 0
You fail to mention whether you proceeded or not. Oh, and good job, sparky.
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Comments (238)
Eddie_Collin 0
******.
woofer_fml 0
LOL. ahahahahaha Note to self, "we're not in movies"
redsox4021 0
so? what's the problem that doesn't mean you have to stop
guitarguy95 0
haha. now u got her where u want her............u know what to do
Nick93 0
Perhaps he thought it was a turn on?.... however if he watched the movies properly he'd notice they turn SIDEWAYS! duh!
chaos753159 4
Did anyone notice the lack of punctuation in the first sentence? It seems that he was trying to tell the girl that he likes to have sex.
chaos753159 4
I mean he likes to have sex in general instead of convincing the girl to have sex with him
BRAINSOVERLOOKS 0
I hope u took full advantage of the situation nd put it in her butt :) p.s she won't remember :)
TenshiHawke 0
Giggity....
effyoubitch 5
If you have to CONVINCE someone to have sex, you probably shouldn't do it.
Hunthas 17
It's only a ydi if that stopped you ;)
CandyKisses 0
Hah, EPIC FAIL. Ah, FYL. I'd be really pissed off at you if I were that girl, though.
enormouselephant 15
Having to convince someone is never a great start.
jennaleigh 0
You fail to mention whether you proceeded or not. Oh, and good job, sparky.
Philosophic 0
She regained conciousness with a camera crew filming her and a guy she's never seen before.
VampireKiller59 0
178 thats a WIN
Nick93 0
Lol be funny as hell, she wakes up and he's just like 'so I was thinking missionary but whatever u want is cool.... wait were still gonna have sex right coz the blood flowing from ur head is kinda turning me on' akward... lmaoo
itman3456 0
194 u killed it ur a murderer
FPsLife 5
So... what happened next?
pu13 5
Silly op just bcause she's bot concious doesn't mean she's not good
spacemanspiff78 7
A real man always finishes
popcorn_chicken 0
agree with 4. haha. epic fail.
pb_fml 0
After a long time of convincing her? That's a shot to the manhood. At least you learned a lesson, don't try to be suave. Kudos for trying.
movingtarget_fml 4
it's just a minor set back. he can still continue as planed
RNCftw 0
you moron...
cyberhoy 3
what the hell this was on here before
fraso_fml 0
so... how was the sex?