Today, I finally convinced a girl that I liked to have sex. I decided to swoop her off the feet like the movies and carry her to my bed. I ended up hitting her head on the door frame, knocking her out. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a girl I have been wanting for years told me she was drunk and needed me to take her home. On the way home she was very frisky and flirty, and I kept telling her to wait till we got to her place. When we finally arrived, she passed out on me and I was stuck there watching her sleep. FML
Today, I asked a girl out and made plans to go see a movie. About 5 minutes in, I made a move to put my arm around her and smashed her in the face. FML
Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML
Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with a girl from home who I'd wanted for a long time. She has low blood pressure problems though, and when things got hot, she passed out while she was on top of me, fell and hit her head on the night stand. FML
Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML
Today, I drove my girlfriend home around 11pm to her garage where we started to have sex. When she came to climax she slipped and hit her head. Her parents heard the crash and came down; we were both still naked, and she was unconscious. FML
Today, I met a really nice girl at a club, and we went back to my place. I was finally going to lose my virginity, but just as she started kissing me, I panicked and ended up fainting. When I came to, I was still clothed, and she was long gone. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I had gotten tipsy and found ourselves in the bedroom. We started to fool around and she leaned over to put her watch on the nightstand. I tried to undo her bra, which surprised her, because she elbowed me in the nose so hard that I ended up passing out from the pain. FML
Today, I tried to impress a girl by draping my arm over the back of her chair. I ended up elbowing her in the nose. FML
Today, I was having sex and wanted to move to the wall, so I picked her up, got my foot stuck in my blanket, and dropped her on the floor. FML
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Top comments
woofer_fml 0
LOL. ahahahahaha Note to self, "we're not in movies"
jennaleigh 0
You fail to mention whether you proceeded or not. Oh, and good job, sparky.
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Comments (238)
bigcrazymike 6
So how was the sex?
Imagril 0
you still had sex with her right?
Ncc_Tardis 0
Didn't this sort of happen in Two and a Half Men? Bad move man, fhl AND fyl!
bigcrazymike 6
#31 if he convinced her, that means she consented. Therefore, not rape. Not even "borderline" rape.
maiden_girl 5
If she really wanted to have sex, you wouldn't have needed to convince her to sleep with you...she would just want to.
watchnlearn 0
#50s right. you totally deserved it. although i agree with #49, it wasn't actually rape
420allday 0
you still had sex with her right?
genius_man16 1
#34 what you did was a little different, although i still have problems with it. If he says "no i dont' want to have sex" that should be the end of it. Just wait until he is ready, if you can't do that then you should break up with him because he deserves someone who respects his decision instead of someone who presses their opinion on them until he changes his mind. Although giving your reasons and stuff and stating your case is a lot better than what the OP implied he did, especially because he isn't even in a relationship with this girl and you were in one. I still have a problem with what you did #34. There should never EVER be any "convincing" or "changing of his/her mind" when it comes to sex. It's just wrong, and i think people may have taken my "borderline rape" comment a little too far, i just meant it was wrong and he shouldn't have done that, though i will admit it's my fault for using such a strong word like 'rape'
PonTiFeX 0
This is too cliche. Can't be real.
greatnt249 0
To all the idiots implying that the OP's a douche, there's a difference between the word "convince" and the word "coerce"; learn it so you can cease sounding like judgmental assholes.