Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been paying her half of the rent by taking my ATM card and getting money from my account. FML

Today, I found out that my "girlfriend" is only with me for free transportation. She even has my contact saved as the car emoji. FML

Today, I found out that my girlfriend of almost 6 years has put me in debt over $33,000. FML

Take what you can get

Today, after dating my girlfriend for a while, I had a realization. She often says things like, "You're my favorite!" and scratches my beard, which I appreciated affectionately. Upon meeting her pets, it dawned on me that I am just another one of her cats. FML

Rock Bottom Riser

Today I realized that my boyfriend has more money on his Metro card than I have in my entire bank account. FML

No thanks

Today, my girlfriend's mother is more into me than she is. FML

Today, I found out my girlfriend is only with me because I'm a mechanic and I fix her constantly broken-down car for free. FML

Truth bomb

Today, after nearly 4 years together, my girlfriend told me that not only does she not love me anymore, she was lying about wanting to work things out because it would be "too hard" for her to go back to financing her own life. I'm nothing more than an extra wallet. FML

Your own personal ATM

Today, my girlfriend, who collects monthly welfare cheques, demanded that I get a second job so I could buy her more things. FML

Time to bail

Today, my girlfriend likes playing games on her phone more than she likes me. FML