Today, as a prank, a friend and I tied a 10 dollar bill to a fishing line, and yanked it away from people as they reached for it. It was going really well until one of our victims pulled a knife and chased us around the block. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found a $20 bill on the ground, so I decided to pick it up. It was actually attached to a string and was meant to be a prank by some kids. They failed miserably, so I took the money. They ran up to me and punched me in the balls for taking their cash. FML
Today, my friends and I decided to prank the pizza guy. Once he rang the doorbell, I jumped out of the bushes wearing a scary mask and holding a fake dagger. He almost instantly whipped out a Taser and got me right in the collarbone. FML
Today, during a game of manhunt, my brother and his friends thought it would be funny to tie me to a telelphone pole with my very own multicolored jumprope from when I was younger. They left me there. My mom drove by, stared and then laughed, She kept driving. FML
Today, while I was walking downtown a homeless person asked me for a dollar. I thought it would be funny to wave the dollar in his face and taunt him. I guess he thought it would be funny to stab me in the leg with a pencil. FML
Today, I went to a carnival. While walking around with my cousin, I saw a one hundred dollar bill on the ground. Just before I stepped on it, a man grabbed it. His words? "Don't you just hate it when that happens?" And he walked away. FML
Today, I pranked my friend and started a fake fight. However, she opened up and admitted to doing a bunch of stuff. We've now stopped being friends. FML
Today, someone tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested, and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves, and told a cop that I did it. FML
Today, after fishing for 5 hours, I finally caught a respectable-sized fish. I ran to my truck to grab the scale, and then I saw my friend laughing hysterically while holding an empty net. Apparently, the only catch of our day jumped out of the net during the 15 seconds I was gone. FML
Today, a customer handed me a 100 dollar bill. He then told me that it was my tip for doing a good job. He snatched it away just as I touched it, laughed, and said, "Just kidding." He then took his money and left the store. FML
Today, two guys robbed me. As I wrestled them on the ground, my best friend just stood next to all this, telling me to give them the money already, or we'd be late for school. FML
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Top comments
Kikitann 9
you made me lol at 1am. damn you.
Captain_Obvious2_fml 6
not to be a spelling nazi but you said loose as in her vag was loose instead of lose like lose blood. lets see how many -1 i can get
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Comments (173)
Kikitann 9
you made me lol at 1am. damn you.
johnson94 5
what if... the man was pulling a prank on y'all! what an ending with a twist! :O
sterlingarcher 1
ahaha haha that's what you get
kruzito 0
He was just trying to play tag. Except when you loose you loose a couple pints of blood as well.
Tsunami87 17
maybe dropping the 10 dollars would have been a good idea!
Captain_Obvious2_fml 6
not to be a spelling nazi but you said loose as in her vag was loose instead of lose like lose blood. lets see how many -1 i can get
fightin4fun 0
LMAO! that's what you get!
dolphincheddar 10
don't pull pranks in harlem new york
fl0ffy 0
hahahaha this is one of my fave FMLs I think it is because something like this would probably happen to me
DuRpY 5
there's a mnemonic for you: her loose vag was losing blood... (i'm going to get more - than you)
kingsamuelcdt 0
lol you fail
Mustardnight 3
bitches aint nothin but tricks and hoes - gandhi
WavinFlag 3
epic fail
FreakoHolm 6
Nigga, please
SmallyBigs 9
If you have a fishing pole... and he has a knife... and there's 2 of you...
6969awesome 0
Your mums abortion failed
OceanBreathesSal 5
your dads condom failed :)
alychick 5
You don't say? Thanks Captain ******* obvious.
Kikitann 9
you made me lol at 1am. damn you.
hollylollyxoxo 0
LOL well you were going fishing, at least you caught something =P
Bbhd05 0
A tip for op: don't do stupid shit in the ghetto.
amazinglyHappy 6
pshhh 10 dollars is cheap, I'd go for 20 then I'd chase you round the block ;)
IdontWanna69 8
It was probably a hobo though, that $10 could buy a decent amount of beer, or maybe a few cheap meals.
amazinglyHappy 6
Ahhh good point!! hehe poor Hobo I feel bad now :P
timetoshare 0
or drugs which is why you don't give the money instead give them food or socks and stuff like that
LaughterofCorn 4
woah deja vu
urdirtyolduncle 15
Probably the very same hobo mentioned in one of the top FMLs where he chased the OP for six blocks with a knife; he's infamously known for carrying a knife.
Zeek63 0
Your not supposed to run with a knife well at least when he is on the ground bleeding to death you will have the last laugh
amazinglyHappy 6
pshhh 10 dollars is cheap, I'd go for 20 then I'd chase you round the block ;)
TheDrifter 24
At least he didn't catch you. Could have been a much worse fml.
Every1luvsfmls 6
there would be no FML lol
bamxitsxandreaa 8
hahaha ^ true.
FarSide 23
FMC. Fu*k My Corpse.
Calyx_fml 22
Psycho.
OasC82 0
hey, you don't say that
ashseal 11
your fault. dumbass.
persianjr1 7
Wow. A little harsh maybe?
drewbear69 0
no sense of humar
HubertPL 0
wow learn to spell humor?
livin_plur 0
wow learn some manners
LairaIsKindaCool 6
Easy on the insults there hun. . .
ashseal 11
um y'all are overreacting. and don't call me hun. thanks.
albow2dking007 14
hey waddup
FMLandurstoo 9
Don't tease criminals.
amazinglyHappy 6
Wanna hear a joke that has no connection?
FMLandurstoo 9
Uh sure?
amazinglyHappy 6
what's funnier then corn??
Person1233 13
People who don't know the difference between then and than?
evalimegreen 0
hey I don't Even know that
Darth_Naru 0
So is there an answer?
amazinglyHappy 6
oh yeah sorry hehe, and sorry for the grammar mistake :S okay heres the answer: CORN THAT GOES POP??? D'ya get it?? hehe
0opsie 6
*cricket chirps*
Darth_Naru 0
I don't get it
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
wow she means popcorn ya'dumbass
Emmy_The_Great 2
Your picture makes your comment like 10 times better.
Darth_Naru 0
Well sorry but I don't think popcorn is funnier than corn. I don't think it's even funny at all.
GeneralGreivous3 0
Wait... corn is supposed to be funny?
hotscar 3
111, if you're grevious, why is your picture maul?
amazinglyHappy 6
... it's one of those jokes that aren't funny, sorry :(....
AutumnBeatricee 0
lol:)
TrollsFTW 0
That's the worst joke I've ever heard. Oh wait, I've got a better one. You being pretty!
amazinglyHappy 6
the point of the joke was to be bad... it's one of those things young people laugh at... 'cause its such a fail of a joke?? and thanks for the mature comment back i'm sure your mum's proud.
a_nutritionist 10
wow, i was thinking the responses were borderline until 144 just shot over the line between acceptable and unacceptable. i bet he thinks it makes him cool too because he acts like a ****. youre lucky youre 13 and have time to think like a fully functioning person, cos right now youre nothing but a waste of carbon and water.