Today, I farted in front of my husband. It somehow turned into a farting war. Then I realized this is the closest we've come to intimacy in a week. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I farted in front of my husband for the first time in 26 years. He told our kids over email, and now they won't shut up about it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML
Today, my husband farted while he was naked and bending over to pick up his clothes, so me lying on the bed got a perfect view of his butthole twitching and flapping around as the gas escaped. Who says romance is dead? FML
Today, while sitting on the couch with my husband, I farted quietly. Not a big deal, except it's hot out and our fan was blowing in his face, and it stunk. FML
Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time and we were alone. He was being super romantic and snuggling with me, and then out of nowhere he let out the biggest fart I've ever heard. He then explained how I should try to compete with it. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, I finally felt comfortable enough to fart in front of my boyfriend for the first time. He went quiet, got up and left in his car. I haven't heard from him in 4 hours. FML
Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML
Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML
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Top comments
silentblack 0
Who stunk out who?
DocBastard 40
OMG no sex in a whole week??! How do you survive??? No but seriously, it's not very surprising how a funny moment can quickly and easily turn into an intimate moment. Laugh more with your partner, and you'll find you have a lot more sex.
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Comments (107)
skyeyez9 25
Smite him with your farts.
SeemsToFail 0
Farting=intimate since when?????
toelie 26
Since it involves sharing scents from the innermost regions of our bodies.
rabbittboi 18
Yeah, I could go awhile without bathing and share the scent of smegma... That's about as romantic as flatulence... Which is to say it isn't.
emba_fml 13
Pretty sure that's the point.
pike1346 3
Maybe that is because you let yourself go???? I mean, you are just blowing arse in front of him now.....bet u look like shit too. And you wonder why?
loserman67 36
A few observations: The fact you farted in front of your husband makes you pretty cool in my book The fact you were able to produce additional farts just elevates your status The fact you were willing to fight a fart war makes you uber cool So who won and who sharted? It has been my experience that 99% of all fart wars end with someone surrendering due to the appearance of a shart in their shorts. Stock up on Febreze...I have a feeling this was just round one - *A hint: watch out for the Dutch Oven!
brent321 10
Only in canada..
kimmi41509 10
How is farting intimate?
diablo83 4
Girls fart?
Metal_Chick 15
Yes; but our farts smell like flowers, spice and everything nice :).
Worm617 0
Old fml
br0ccoli 15
There's so much to look forward to after 'I do'. Can't wait!
bonzie 6
oh you poor dear a whole week? oy when your going on three months then you can complain