Today, I came home to my drunk husband, to find that he raided our fridge and freezer to soothe his beer munchies. That would have been fine, had he not eaten the top tier of our wedding cake I'd been saving to eat on our first wedding anniversary, which is in 4 days. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's my husband's and my first wedding anniversary. I came home from work hoping for at least a bouquet of flowers, only to find my husband passed out on the couch, with a few beer cans next to him. I guess I missed the party. FML
Today, I came home to find my dog had learned how to open our fridge. He ate the birthday cake I was saving for a friend's surprise party, and to add insult to injury, he'd also apparently thrown the barely digested cake up all over my bed. FML
Today my husband got drunk and wrecked the house. And when I say wrecked the house, I mean ripping everything off book shelves, Tearing the ceiling fan out of the wall, Opening the fridge and shoveling everything out. Glass everywhere. etc. and this isn’t the first time. I clean up every time. FML
Today, my husband started a food fight. During our wedding reception. FML
Today, my husband of one week lost his wedding ring while we were preparing for a dinner party. After a thorough search and no luck, I started to cry. He told me to quit being a drama queen because we had guests. He then got drunk with his friends, puked on the patio, and called me a bitch. FML
Today, my husband reorganized our fridge for the World Cup. He cleared everything out and filled it with beer and chips. FML
Today, it's my 30th birthday. My husband came home with a big case of beer for himself, then told me he didn't have time to get me a present because of work. FML
Today, I finally finished making my daughter's wedding cake. When I checked on it later, I found a large slice had been cut out. I soon found out that my husband had instagrammed himself eating it, with the caption "#guiltypleasures". FML
Today, my husband came home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly for him, he's married to me. FML
Today, I went all out for my husband on our anniversary. I planned meals, took him to a stage show, and got him a bottle of cologne he loves. He was moody, distant, and at one point crying. Why? He found out his ex-wife is getting married today and he couldn’t stop thinking about her. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
The tradition of eating the top tier on the first anniversary is ridiculous. We tried that, and the cake was as moist as an 80 year old pussy. You should thank him for saving you from eating that.
MarineWifey88 3
My husband spent our first anniversary in Iraq. we didn't get to spend an anniversary together until our 4th anniversary and by then, we were scared of the cake and threw it out.
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Comments (187)
IsBitchBetter 1
It was probably freezer burned anyway.
FMLoverAgain 7
exactly, he saved the day for you. the cake would have tasted like shit being in the freezer that long!
FMLoverAgain 7
exactly, he saved the day for you. the cake would have tasted like shit being in the freezer that long!
FMLoverAgain 7
exactly, he saved the day for you. the cake would have tasted like shit being in the freezer that long!
ChibiChibi_fml 28
That's not necessarily true though because if it was stored properly it would be fine and freezer burn free. There are a lot people who save the Top tier of their wedding cakes to eat on their first anniversary and because of this there are places that will package the cake for you specially so that it will last a year in the freezer.
primadonna9396 16
It may not be freezer burned or gross, but it's still a tacky over-sentimental thing to bitch about. OP, YDI for being butthurt about something so goddamned trivial. Also, I feel terribly for your husband knowing that you think your life is ****** because he - gods forbid - ate some food from the fridge.
strokesie 23
In the words of 'The Crow': "Nothing is trivial."
starxshine 0
I would be mad too op
Notimetobleed 14
Beer munchies? wtf it's only pot munchies, I don't ever recall being drunk and wanting to eat, op, I'm pretty sure your fiancé Is a stoner to.
valalvax 13
he must have been really hungry to eat the old wedding cake, those things are freaking nasty, it's only a stupid tradition
zowieandzander77 1
Perhaps you have only been to crappy weddings. A well made wedding cake is not nasty.
ScaughtieHolden 11
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
He was talking about a year old wedding cake -_-
zowieandzander77 1
I doubt it. The poster is 21--how many year old wedding cakes would one have had by the age of 21?
RealChinese 7
@46 wtf are you dumb she saved her wedding cakes top tier which is the top part of the cake, the smallest part normally. and she saved it to be eaten on the 1st year of their anniversary which was coming up in 4 days and that's why it's a year old because if you didn't know an anniversary for a wedding is next year on the same date as the wedding
BellBungle 2
well said realchinese
zowieandzander77 1
@ 53 try and keep up with the thread before calling me dumb. I am aware the OP (original poster not poster) saved the top tier of her wedding cake to be eaten on their one year anniversary. What I'm not aware of is where you learned reading comprehension...Let's recap shall we... 1. #3 said wedding cake was nasty 2. I responded with " a well made wedding cake is not nasty" 3. # 45 responded to me and said "He was talking about a year old wedding cake" 4. To which I said "I doubt it. The poster is 21--how many year old wedding cakes would one have had by the age of 21? Aka the poster must have meant wedding cakes in general are nasty. The poster AKA #3 who said wedding cake was nasty not the OP! We clear now.
fieldhockyluva24 4
#46 was referring to #45 since he said that #3 was saying that year-old cakes are gross. #46 was saying it was unlikely that #3 was talking about the year old cake since he probably hasn't eaten a year old cake. #68 beat me too it and was a lot more clear. haha
heathersmorin 0
#53 OWNED BITCH!!!!
JohnBoyFsYL 10
Stop just saying numbers FFS!
MissBunny25 0
actually zowie, im younger than 21 and have been to at least 5 weddings in my time.. yes, I have eaten the cake. age really doesn't matter how many wedding cakes you've had.. don't be so pompous. however, this is a ridiculous argument -.-
brokenbottletop 0
so, #94, obviously many 21 year olds have eaten wedding cakes, but this person was talking about a year old wedding cake... have you eaten any wedding cakes a year old? how about reading the whole thing? the reason he's (or she's?) saying age, is because the only reason a person would eat a year old cake is on their wedding anniversary, which most people don't have at age 21...
MissBunny25 0
actually I have had a year old cake. my aunt's. though i did not read thoroughly , I'll admit that. my apologies :) I will accept the jackass of the year award :)
maa_rico 4
101 you don't need to comprehend stuff whe you are that gorgeous ;)
Kua_Mei 0
This entire conversation is so stupid that the resulting minute of me hitting my head repeatedly against the wall probably killed fewer brain cells.
MissBunny25 0
119, your reply alone made me consider jumping in lighter fluid and running through a Bon fire.
Aoifexzx 3
#122 win
WishResign 0
122 makes 119 look like turd, so she wins automatically.
xxkitsumoxx 0
numbers are easier dude :)
BugsBunny1 4
Yeah well 122 and I are kinda dating (note the same last names).... So BACK OFF!
MissBunny25 0
^ what? lmfao
AlittleBasterd 0
All aboard the ***** train! Cho chooo!
AmandaIsMyName 0
wow what an asshole. that's ****** up lol
Jonny_Trump 0
I dunno, he was drunk. He was drunk and ate cake. I don't think that's enough to accurately judge his character.
WishResign 0
I can't believe that you'd begrudge a man some cake, especially in his time of need.
rum_fml 0
nice pic
tnfan5594 0
well he was hungry and he needed something to eat
MissBunny25 0
thank you captain obvious!! you have saved the day once again !! :D
qtips402 7
^ win :D
MarineWifey88 3
My husband spent our first anniversary in Iraq. we didn't get to spend an anniversary together until our 4th anniversary and by then, we were scared of the cake and threw it out.
alliewillie 22
I really don't see how this pertains. This FML wasn't about you.
twilightfreak779 0
puts it in perspective.
MissBunny25 0
76 don't be a cold heartless bitch. it does pertain to the fml. go eat macaroni in a cave.
silverstream20 20
96 and this no sarcasm that was a brilliant comment I'd say even a win
lexiemae97 9
haha lol you tell 'em 96!! :D
maby171 0
win!
DocBastard 40
The tradition of eating the top tier on the first anniversary is ridiculous. We tried that, and the cake was as moist as an 80 year old pussy. You should thank him for saving you from eating that.
Zmeilerr 22
Doc, how would you know what an 80 yr old pussy tastes like?
Edsterr 0
oh trust me, he knows. he probably gets so much geriatric ass that the modern bedpan can't even hold a candle to him
insertcutename 3
Exactly how many 80 year old ******* do you have to eat to be able to make that comparison?
RedPillSucks 33
Only one, grasshopper. Only one.
theChupacabras 0
he never said he ate an 80 year old pussy.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
Did any of those people get the cake specially packaged or were they all dumb enough to just try and save it in a box and some glad wrap? I know several people who had the top tier of their cakes packaged specially and found them quite delicious when they ate them on their anniversary.
MissBunny25 0
doc is married????? to a woman???? a living woman??? hahaha jk. love ya doc
DocBastard 40
Bunny, I'm not sure I know you well enough to abide by such a personal insult. I am offended, madam, and I demand satisfaction by way of a duel! Ten paces and turn! Yes, I'm married, I have a 4-year old daughter, and my wife is 8 months pregnant.
MissBunny25 0
hahahahaha I'm kidding doc.
MissBunny25 0
congrats btw. :)
aback 5
That's the CluePhone ringing; it's for you.
sweet_candy_ 17
Sounds like he did you a favor.
persianjr1 7
lol. I agree