Today, I dislocated my shoulder. I was screaming and writhing in pain, and my eyes were shut for most of the ride to the hospital. We stopped, and I was thrilled because I thought we were at the ER. I was wrong. My dad had stopped to order a cheeseburger. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my eye started hurting with unbelievable pain. I couldn't see out of it and I asked my father if he would take me to the hospital, since it was hurting so bad. He said he had to wait for the pizza he ordered for delivery. I had to call a cab to go to the emergency room because of pizza. FML
Today, I went to my favorite burger joint. Upon taking the first bite of my burger, I dislocated my jaw. The employees had to call 911. FML
Today, I hurt my arm in a scooter accident. When my dad came to pick me up, instead of taking me to the hospital like a normal dad, he took me directly home where he spent a hour shaving and taking a shower so he would "look nice" when we went to the hospital, while I clutched my arm in pain. FML
Today, I had to pick my parents up from the hospital and drive them back home, after they were treated for eating large amounts of cheese that my dad claimed to have "aged" for several years. FML
Today, I had whiplash after my dad and I were rear ended by a suburban. Despite the state trooper saying I should go, my dad delayed taking me to the ER because he wanted to pick up the dog from "doggy daycare" and take her for a nice long walk, while I waited for my mom to come home. FML
Today, I was in agonizing pain and couldn't move. My parents said they couldn't take me to the ER until the football game on TV was over. FML
Today, my father tripped over the dog and hit a wall. He was so convinced his arm was broken that we waited for 3 hours in emergency to find out he had a bruise. FML
Today, I dislocated my shoulder doing a really big stretch when I woke up. After the doctor relocated it, my dad told me I still had to do my chores. No excuses. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs and broke my leg. My dad helped me to the car so he could drive me to the hospital, but when he saw our neighbor, he went over and had a 15 minute screaming match with him over how his dog keeps shitting on our lawn, all while I sat in the car in agony. FML
Today, as I was walking home, I saw an ambulance pull into my driveway with its sirens blaring. Thinking it could be for my sick father, I started frantically sprinting. I managed to trip on my pant-leg, twisting my ankle in the process. They were just turning around in my driveway. FML
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Top comments
MrPortalFan 21
Did he get you one?
Hunthas 17
Cheeseburgers are worth it
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Comments (120)
termin8tor786 10
Smart guy! Wait time in ER can be very long.
chosha_fml 27
Writhing with a dislocated shoulder. I bet that was helping.
g4m30v3r 11
Have you ever waited at ER? Especially if you live in an urban area? I would have stopped for a cheeseburger too, they were probably stuck there for a good 6 hours. A dislocated shoulder would be low priority
love_me_electric 20
That's what I was thinking. Is 3 minutes to buy a cheese burger that big of a deal if you're going to be waiting at the hospital for hours anyways?
herpderpityderp 4
I once dislocated my hand when I was twelve and it hurt like SHIT but my dad didnt take me to the ER and it popped back into place.
carecow 16
A man's gotta eat.
kasumirock 13
For future reference, Duct tape fixes everything.
ThedaRose 15
thats so funny, but I feel for you. when I was in labor, my now ex husband stopped for McDs on the way to the hospital
itsmimi121 8
cheeseburgers are awesome. sorry about your shoulder. but really, cheeseburgers are awesome.
jhicks123 10
Peter Griffin is your father? MEG!?
sammaelAOD 4
a dislocated shoulder isn't that bad, there's no need for screaming or writhing in pain