Today, I dislocated my shoulder. I was screaming and writhing in pain, and my eyes were shut for most of the ride to the hospital. We stopped, and I was thrilled because I thought we were at the ER. I was wrong. My dad had stopped to order a cheeseburger. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my eye started hurting with unbelievable pain. I couldn't see out of it and I asked my father if he would take me to the hospital, since it was hurting so bad. He said he had to wait for the pizza he ordered for delivery. I had to call a cab to go to the emergency room because of pizza. FML
Today, I went to my favorite burger joint. Upon taking the first bite of my burger, I dislocated my jaw. The employees had to call 911. FML
Today, I hurt my arm in a scooter accident. When my dad came to pick me up, instead of taking me to the hospital like a normal dad, he took me directly home where he spent a hour shaving and taking a shower so he would "look nice" when we went to the hospital, while I clutched my arm in pain. FML
Today, I had to pick my parents up from the hospital and drive them back home, after they were treated for eating large amounts of cheese that my dad claimed to have "aged" for several years. FML
Today, I had whiplash after my dad and I were rear ended by a suburban. Despite the state trooper saying I should go, my dad delayed taking me to the ER because he wanted to pick up the dog from "doggy daycare" and take her for a nice long walk, while I waited for my mom to come home. FML
Today, I was in agonizing pain and couldn't move. My parents said they couldn't take me to the ER until the football game on TV was over. FML
Today, my father tripped over the dog and hit a wall. He was so convinced his arm was broken that we waited for 3 hours in emergency to find out he had a bruise. FML
Today, I dislocated my shoulder doing a really big stretch when I woke up. After the doctor relocated it, my dad told me I still had to do my chores. No excuses. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs and broke my leg. My dad helped me to the car so he could drive me to the hospital, but when he saw our neighbor, he went over and had a 15 minute screaming match with him over how his dog keeps shitting on our lawn, all while I sat in the car in agony. FML
Today, as I was walking home, I saw an ambulance pull into my driveway with its sirens blaring. Thinking it could be for my sick father, I started frantically sprinting. I managed to trip on my pant-leg, twisting my ankle in the process. They were just turning around in my driveway. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
MrPortalFan 21
Did he get you one?
Hunthas 17
Cheeseburgers are worth it
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (120)
jw90 18
Sounds like a Family Guy scene.
Shehulk23 4
Oh, quit your whining. I have problems with my shoulders and have dislocated the right one over 15 times and the left somewhere around 8. The first time I dislocated my shoulder I was 11 or 12 years old and I didn't shed a tear. I popped that sucker back in using my knees and my good arm.
charvisioku 22
Do you have hypermobility syndrome by any chance? Sounds very similar to my partner who has it, except he's lost count of how many dislocations and subluxes he's had over the past few years xD
4Madden 19
Everyone knows cheeseburgers are America's natural painkillers.
morngo 8
Oh come on it doesn't hurt that bad
bryan788 29
your dad is smart to plan a head ER waiting times suck.
MidnaLink 35
'Tis only an FML if you were not bought one for yourself.
tranced_ 45
oh my dad is no less! he once ordered 2 family size cheese burst pizzas, one for himself and the other for rest of us.
jayray313 21
And the father of the year award goes to...
FML_4life_ 8
OP, tht used to always happen to me! Tht is really easy to fix too just ask them ;)
thegrealtdalton 9
I've dislocated the same shoulder 2 times, and you just wanna get to the hospital, and get some pain meds