Today, I dislocated my shoulder. I was screaming and writhing in pain, and my eyes were shut for most of the ride to the hospital. We stopped, and I was thrilled because I thought we were at the ER. I was wrong. My dad had stopped to order a cheeseburger. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my eye started hurting with unbelievable pain. I couldn't see out of it and I asked my father if he would take me to the hospital, since it was hurting so bad. He said he had to wait for the pizza he ordered for delivery. I had to call a cab to go to the emergency room because of pizza. FML
Today, I went to my favorite burger joint. Upon taking the first bite of my burger, I dislocated my jaw. The employees had to call 911. FML
Today, I hurt my arm in a scooter accident. When my dad came to pick me up, instead of taking me to the hospital like a normal dad, he took me directly home where he spent a hour shaving and taking a shower so he would "look nice" when we went to the hospital, while I clutched my arm in pain. FML
Today, I had to pick my parents up from the hospital and drive them back home, after they were treated for eating large amounts of cheese that my dad claimed to have "aged" for several years. FML
Today, I had whiplash after my dad and I were rear ended by a suburban. Despite the state trooper saying I should go, my dad delayed taking me to the ER because he wanted to pick up the dog from "doggy daycare" and take her for a nice long walk, while I waited for my mom to come home. FML
Today, I was in agonizing pain and couldn't move. My parents said they couldn't take me to the ER until the football game on TV was over. FML
Today, my father tripped over the dog and hit a wall. He was so convinced his arm was broken that we waited for 3 hours in emergency to find out he had a bruise. FML
Today, I dislocated my shoulder doing a really big stretch when I woke up. After the doctor relocated it, my dad told me I still had to do my chores. No excuses. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs and broke my leg. My dad helped me to the car so he could drive me to the hospital, but when he saw our neighbor, he went over and had a 15 minute screaming match with him over how his dog keeps shitting on our lawn, all while I sat in the car in agony. FML
Today, as I was walking home, I saw an ambulance pull into my driveway with its sirens blaring. Thinking it could be for my sick father, I started frantically sprinting. I managed to trip on my pant-leg, twisting my ankle in the process. They were just turning around in my driveway. FML
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Top comments
MrPortalFan 21
Did he get you one?
Hunthas 17
Cheeseburgers are worth it
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Comments (120)
blvcklvnd69 14
Did you do a striptease to earn them
pheebs314 17
With how long ER waits are, I'm sure the drive thru didn't make a difference. You'd have gotten to the hospital and sat for 2 hours before even seeing a doctor, let alone getting any pain killers.
jefflukey123 4
Reminds me of that episode of family guy
stamina1210 5
Your dad is Peter Griffen!
niamhul 8
My parents did almost the same thing, when I broke my leg they stopped on the way to the hospital... to buy a camera. Much more urgent than my broken limb obviously?
hellox3howlow 17
This reminds me of the time when my mom told me that my dad stopped to get some bagels on the way to the hospital when she was in labor with me. Well, hopefully he got you a cheeseburger!
katejones 8
That's where he was supposed to go AFTER your shoulder was back in. Sorry op for having a jerk dad.
zak_rizvi123 4
can't argue with that
twye 22
Did he at least ask if you wanted something?
robotiick7 23
Does this remind any one of family guy when Peter stopped for burgers when Bonny was in labor