Today, I discovered that when a cyclist tears down the street, slaps you across the face as he passes, looks back laughing and flips you off, then crashes into a lamppost, he'll still blame you and threaten to sue, even after you rush over to check his injuries. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML
Today, as I pulled to a halt at a stop sign, a cyclist ripped through the air, slammed straight into my fender, and almost launched over my car. I ended up being cited for reckless driving. FML
Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML
Today, I was riding my bike down a road I know is quite hazardous. Having almost been hit in the same spot the day before, I rode across the intersection very satisfied without having been injured. Until I crashed into the guy front of me and flipped over my handlebars. FML
Today, while walking to my car after work, I witnessed some moron who was texting while riding her bike running right into my parked car, resulting in a broken side mirror, a damaged windshield, two dents, and for her, a broken phone and nose. She's threatening to sue me for damages. FML
Today, I stopped at a light when someone crashed into my motorcycle, making me fall. The guy claimed it was my fault because I'd stopped too fast. I got really mad, so I attempted to spit on his face and was ready to start a fight when I noticed that I'd forgotten to lift the helmet visor. FML
Today, some guy on a bike kept taunting me about my weight while I was out jogging. He ended up hitting a street lamp and fell off his bike. I had a real good laugh at him for all of 5 seconds before he got mad and really made me run. FML
Today, I was riding my bike home from the store. Wanting to impress some passers-by, I tried to do a trick on a sharp turn. I hit a pole with my balls. As I was lying on the ground in agony, a guy pulled over, took a picture, and took off laughing. FML
Today, I rode my bike to work. While biking on the road, I gave a hand signal for turning left. A car passing the opposite way veered towards me and attempted to give me a high five. I now have cuts all over my body and my bike is in two pieces. FML
Today, I got into an accident and my bike broke. My insurance expired 5 days ago and the accident wasn't even my fault. The lady was on the phone and on the wrong side of the road. She's threatening to sue me even though her car is in better condition. There are no witnesses and no cameras either. FML
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Top comments
PrussiaisAwesome 15
I like to see him try to sue. That would be so funny.
mzrobinson 13
Sue back for assault and harassment! (;
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Comments (251)
melloyellofello 1
I didn't have an account. Just created one because this pissed me off so much. Just want to say, **** that mother ******.
mrrossh 3
Instead of having concern for his injuries, you should have kicked him in the face a few times and mugged him for his wallet, phone and bike. Shit, I'd take his shoes as well to teach him a lesson for slapping my and flipping me off.
megamandude455 10
This is one strange FML
diva239 8
What a ********!
xxxPHxxx 1
If I were you I would've just laughed in response, flipped him/her off, and then casually walked away, still laughing.
murphdarkly 13
Counter sue for assault
LouAMT51B 2
You deserved it, only the part where you got to see him get wrecked did you deserve.
Sliver1991 26
So that's how a class A person likes like. A is of course asshole. I wouldn't have even checked if the man is hurt, OP.
oxford247 2
Just knew this had to be an Aussie one! Should have let the bozo suffer with his deserved injuries!
desoto96 9
You know, there's something to be said for the days when two people could could settle there differences with a good ole fist fight or shoot out.