Today, I discovered that when a cyclist tears down the street, slaps you across the face as he passes, looks back laughing and flips you off, then crashes into a lamppost, he'll still blame you and threaten to sue, even after you rush over to check his injuries. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML
Today, as I pulled to a halt at a stop sign, a cyclist ripped through the air, slammed straight into my fender, and almost launched over my car. I ended up being cited for reckless driving. FML
Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML
Today, I was riding my bike down a road I know is quite hazardous. Having almost been hit in the same spot the day before, I rode across the intersection very satisfied without having been injured. Until I crashed into the guy front of me and flipped over my handlebars. FML
Today, while walking to my car after work, I witnessed some moron who was texting while riding her bike running right into my parked car, resulting in a broken side mirror, a damaged windshield, two dents, and for her, a broken phone and nose. She's threatening to sue me for damages. FML
Today, I stopped at a light when someone crashed into my motorcycle, making me fall. The guy claimed it was my fault because I'd stopped too fast. I got really mad, so I attempted to spit on his face and was ready to start a fight when I noticed that I'd forgotten to lift the helmet visor. FML
Today, some guy on a bike kept taunting me about my weight while I was out jogging. He ended up hitting a street lamp and fell off his bike. I had a real good laugh at him for all of 5 seconds before he got mad and really made me run. FML
Today, I was riding my bike home from the store. Wanting to impress some passers-by, I tried to do a trick on a sharp turn. I hit a pole with my balls. As I was lying on the ground in agony, a guy pulled over, took a picture, and took off laughing. FML
Today, I rode my bike to work. While biking on the road, I gave a hand signal for turning left. A car passing the opposite way veered towards me and attempted to give me a high five. I now have cuts all over my body and my bike is in two pieces. FML
Today, I got into an accident and my bike broke. My insurance expired 5 days ago and the accident wasn't even my fault. The lady was on the phone and on the wrong side of the road. She's threatening to sue me even though her car is in better condition. There are no witnesses and no cameras either. FML
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Top comments
PrussiaisAwesome 15
I like to see him try to sue. That would be so funny.
mzrobinson 13
Sue back for assault and harassment! (;
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Comments (251)
Epic_Times 10
Are you kidding me? Karma was on your side lol you were minding your own business and he rode by and not only slapped you but flipped you off so he deserved it.
j_cat187 20
I can see him lying in court. That little ******.
aliciamarie1 8
No good deed goes unpunished!
shakespearelove 6
why is everyone bitching about the cyclist? (hear me out first) you should be congratulating him! he finally got to first base with something! even if it was an inanimate object. lol. but, OP, that cyclist really was an idiot. you have more of a case against him than he does you. if he does try to press charges, i can see the lawyer laughing his ass off, as well as the judge.
doumtabarnack 12
Are you ******* kidding? I would have gone to see if he was ok after 5 good minutes of laughter lol
annihil8or 15
Next time just kick the crap outta him and take his bike
blakeford 5
I would walk up to him and give him something to sue about. Here's a hint. Size 12 really fast and 6 in up his ass. That's assault and rape.
tf5f89 7
You're a good person, OP. If someone did that to me I would just laugh, flip them off, and walk away.
Windrammer 6
Cyclists are dicks.
kyrie_eleison 2
Wow... where I live its usually just a "hello" and "how are you?" then we go our separate ways. You Australians take greetings to a whole new level! :D