Today, I discovered that just because I get unwanted erections on an hourly basis throughout the day, it doesn't mean that I can get required erections in the night. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I discovered that if I work out, I can't get an erection, but if I don't work out, my penis functions fine. This wouldn't be such a problem if I wasn't a professional bodybuilder. FML
Today, i discovered I can only get an erection in the presence of a real woman. My days of busting nuts alone are over. Except I don't have a girlfriend. FML
Today, I realized that the amount of time it takes my boyfriend to get an erection takes longer than the actual sex. FML
Today, I'm so sleep-deprived, I got a boner from just thinking about falling asleep. FML
Today, I realized how sex-deprived I am when the thought of owning condoms gave me a rock-solid erection. FML
Today, I'm horny all the time, but my endurance in the sack is horrible. Why me? FML
Today, I had to re-take an hour long MRI scan because I got an erection midway through. FML
Today, I realized I have erectile dysfunction while drunk, and premature ejaculation while sober. FML
Today, it’s been so long since I've had sex, I dream about it every night and I can barely function mentally unless I masturbate frequently, otherwise I get random boners throughout the day that won’t go away, no matter how much I try to think about something else. FML
Today, I finally had the chance to have sex with my crush. Too bad I couldn't get an erection. FML
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Top comments
Superawesomestev 0
stop drinking. or maybe your not attracted to your hand anymore. I would draw a moustache on it and call it berry. that should get ya going.
perdix 31
Get a job that requires you work the night shift. A job where a flaccid penis is preferred, if not required. Gigolo is NOT one such job. Then, during the day, cruise up and down the street blaring "Afternoon Delight" on your car stereo. Since it comes up every hour, do you call your penis "Old Faithful?" Do your erections occur at the bottom of the hour or the top, for example, one o' ****, two o' ****, etc?
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Comments (40)
swimdiva 0
Aww :( poor guyy.. *hugs and pats on back* I'm sorry buddy :(
zach5432 3
make sure you do that at night. it could avoid an akward situation
Ninjaface 0
Screw during the day. Problem solved. If you couldn't think of that, then obviously too much of your brain blood has been flowing into your strangely punctual erections.
superclumsy 0
whats wrong with your dick dude?
ericvolp12 0
same thing with me but I can get it up at night lol
paintedchocolate 30
Then it's not the same thing, is it?
Rayn4u_fml 0
You can, if you want to have an audience for comedy value.
Chocolate_Chunk 2
get yourself an emergency strapon. maybe she won't notice ;)
JPEG7 12
just do it during the day! lol
Das_Judenburg 0
you look like a guy.
jogurt 0
hahaha I have the first problem. then again i don't consider it a problem cuz in math someone shouted holy shit why do you have a flash light
DReamBig24 0
oh that sucks....
FMLoverAgain 7
you need me by your side to take care of that