Anonymous
Duchamp would be proud
Today, my five year-old niece thought that it would be acceptable to carve her artwork all over our toilet seat. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Pauly
Can't take my eyes off you
Today, I babysat my niece and thought a quick shower would be fine. I left her watching cartoons with a blanket and returned to find she’d used washable paints on the carpet and her hands, leaving tiny colorful footprints to the couch. Her proud smile made me forgive the mess, but I spent the evening scrubbing. FML
Embarrassed wife
Today, I let my 5 year old play on my tablet while we were both using one of those family restrooms with two toilets. She took a selfie showing both on us on the toilet and sent it to my husband. FML.
Anonymous
Primitive art
Today, I went to check on my 2 year-old daughter in her playroom, since she was being awfully quiet. I walk in to see her finger painting with her own feces on her kiddie table. FML
szechuansauce
Today, my nine-year-old niece found my coloring book that features swear words. I took it away and hid it in a different spot. No less than an hour later, her younger sister found it. FML
Ed
United States
Today, I came home from work to find my five year old daughter drawing unicorns on the wall. The same wall that I had to repaint last week because it had puppies on it. FML
silverscrescent
Poole, United Kingdom
Can't take my eyes off you
Today, I was babysitting my 8-year-old niece. I left her for 10 minutes so I could take a shower, only to walk in on her with her dress rolled up, peeing on the floor. FML
Misbah Akhtar
Plymouth, United Kingdom
Child's play
Today, my 6 year-old brought me a card. On it was a turd belonging to my 4 year-old son. She got excited and grossed out, and threw it on the rug. FML
AuntPeePee
United States
Today, I berated my five-year-old nephew for peeing on the floor. His mom bitched me out for expecting "a little boy to have perfect aim." That's funny, it looked pretty good when he dropped his pants, looked me in the eyes, and started to piss on my rug. FML
IcyWinter
Winnipeg, Canada
Today, I had to tell my daughter that just because markers say "washable", it doesn't mean that you can draw all over our newly-painted walls. She's 15. FML
Pissed
Australia
Public announcement
Today, in an incredibly busy shopping center bathroom with my 5 year-old niece, I was squatting over the toilet seat to avoid germs. My niece then says at the top of her voice, "Auntie, why are you sitting like a kangaroo?" I'd say the whole room pissed their pants laughing. FML
Top comments
demix_fml 32
Carve ! WTH did she use ?A knife!
TCRII 30
Shit happens. Sometime to the shitter...
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Comments (6)
TCRII 30
Shit happens. Sometime to the shitter...
demix_fml 32
Carve ! WTH did she use ?A knife!
RichardPencil 32
Is ?A the poop emoji? 💩
raven_of_azarath 35
Some toilet seats are made of wood and, as most schools know, wood can be carved into with even just a pencil. It’s not too crazy to think a 5-year-old could do this.
RichardPencil 32
You should submit that to the Toilet Seat Museum in San Antonio. There's really such a place!
riley873 21
I don't know what's worse. the fact you know this, the fact that I had to look it up to verify, or the fact that it's a legit place🤦🏿♀️
RichardPencil 32
What's even worse is that I went several times and was amazed at it! The owner was 95 years old when I went and may have passed away by now. He was great! I hope someone is lovingly carrying on his eccentric and impressive work.
sarkycow 25
putting this on my list of to go!
ViviMage 40
Well, you can replace the toilet seat. Make sure it's something not soft enough to carve. I'd love a soft toilet seat with the plastic covering and it's stuffed. If she carved into that, her parents should be held responsible.
1known 34
Responsible for what? It is their toilets.
1known 34
Quick survey: do you know who Duchamp was? Thump up: yes Thump down: no No searching on Google, Wikipedia or other sites.
Hangryko 32
Wouldn't have happened if someone was watching her. How did she get an object sharp enough to do that in the first place? *facepalm*