Today, I discovered that just because I get unwanted erections on an hourly basis throughout the day, it doesn't mean that I can get required erections in the night. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I discovered that if I work out, I can't get an erection, but if I don't work out, my penis functions fine. This wouldn't be such a problem if I wasn't a professional bodybuilder. FML
Today, i discovered I can only get an erection in the presence of a real woman. My days of busting nuts alone are over. Except I don't have a girlfriend. FML
Today, I realized that the amount of time it takes my boyfriend to get an erection takes longer than the actual sex. FML
Today, I'm so sleep-deprived, I got a boner from just thinking about falling asleep. FML
Today, I realized how sex-deprived I am when the thought of owning condoms gave me a rock-solid erection. FML
Today, I'm horny all the time, but my endurance in the sack is horrible. Why me? FML
Today, I had to re-take an hour long MRI scan because I got an erection midway through. FML
Today, I realized I have erectile dysfunction while drunk, and premature ejaculation while sober. FML
Today, it’s been so long since I've had sex, I dream about it every night and I can barely function mentally unless I masturbate frequently, otherwise I get random boners throughout the day that won’t go away, no matter how much I try to think about something else. FML
Today, I finally had the chance to have sex with my crush. Too bad I couldn't get an erection. FML
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Top comments
Superawesomestev 0
stop drinking. or maybe your not attracted to your hand anymore. I would draw a moustache on it and call it berry. that should get ya going.
perdix 31
Get a job that requires you work the night shift. A job where a flaccid penis is preferred, if not required. Gigolo is NOT one such job. Then, during the day, cruise up and down the street blaring "Afternoon Delight" on your car stereo. Since it comes up every hour, do you call your penis "Old Faithful?" Do your erections occur at the bottom of the hour or the top, for example, one o' ****, two o' ****, etc?
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Comments (40)
ShutTheFuCupcake 7
I'm 17 and this happens to me don't feel too bad about it OP