Today, I decided to smoke a cigarette while I was driving to work. I was also eating french fries during the drive. I had never realized how much a cigarette feels like a french fry. In conclusion, cigarettes don't taste very good when you bite into them. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was holding a lit cigarette in one hand and a lollipop in the other. Guess which one I licked? FML
Today, I quit smoking cigarettes. While driving to work, the car in front of me flicked his out the window, flying straight into mine. It set the bottom of my seat on fire. FML
Today, I pretended to smoke a bread stick that looked like a cigar. It made me feel cool. FML
Today, I decided to quit smoking. During my lunch break, I tried to ash the KitKat bar that was in my hand after I took a bite. FML
Today, after months of avoiding fast food, I decided to eat some McDonald's french fries. Though the fries were delicious, they were not worth the agonizing 15 minutes I spent on the toilet afterwards. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend and she tasted like a cigarette. I don't smoke. She doesn't smoke. My roommate does. FML
Today, I made the decision to quit smoking while I was driving in my car. So I took my pack, crushed it and threw it out the window. I felt triumphant about this change I was making in my life, until the cop I didn't know was behind me gave me a ticket for littering. FML
Today, while driving me to the hospital because I was having an asthma attack, my mother lit a cigarette. FML
Today, I was driving with my mom. She had some soda with her from earlier, and even though it was probably warm, I was thirsty. I ask for a sip, she hands it to me and says sure. And I get a mouthful of ash-and-cigarette-butt-filled soda. Apparently she didn't feel the need to mention this to me. FML
Today, I was smoking a cigarette while watching the meteor shower. I was just about at the filter and as I was taking my last drag, my friend decided to scare me from behind, and I accidentally sucked the whole thing in my mouth. They don't go out immediately when in your mouth. My tongue hurts. FML
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Top comments
keke_fml 0
let's see which one kills you first
Charlesdenfreude 0
Wow, that's like the healthiest activity I've ever heard of
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Comments (208)
your_life_sux 0
what does OP stand for? (stupid question i know but i have no ******* clue)
Apparatus333 0
Optimus Prime Orange Potatoes Oblivious People Anything you like, but it's usually Original Poster.
assanater601 2
Original Poster
steinway 0
eating AND smoking AND driving? i call that a recipe for disaster. YDI for being reckless... also smoking and eating at the same time tastes terrible!
red_wings 0
#22 OP means Original Poster I used to smoke and I have a lot of smoker friends NONE of them eat and smoke at the same time...
jdkfgkjdfb 0
Some things you need to learn: 1. Don't smoke. 2. Don't smoke and drive. 3. Don't eat and drive. 4. Don't eat, smoke, and drive. #23: OP means Original Poster, which is the person who submitted the FML.
oh_dee 0
#22 i asked the SAME question yesterday and someone said it means "original poster" (i'm going to trust that they were right...) and ps - you ingest the cigarette anyway, so what's the difference? maybe eating it instead of smoking it will make you realize that that garbage is going into your system anyway, and that either way it's disgusting and it kills you.
lobstar 0
You shouldn't do anything while driving except drive. YDI and if you keep it up you just might get into a crash too. That'll be a real FML.
naty_fml 0
YDI for smoking anyway
eff_yo_life 0
#2 and #3 - ROFL!! #22 - OP - Original Poster @OP - It would've been perfect if you would've gotten a ticket too!! FYL, regardless...
lifebarelyeffed 0
Eeeeeeewwww
blazerbum 0
only smoking driving and eating?? what, did you leave your cellphone at home?
rabid_otaku 29
And the booze