Today, I decided to smoke a cigarette while I was driving to work. I was also eating french fries during the drive. I had never realized how much a cigarette feels like a french fry. In conclusion, cigarettes don't taste very good when you bite into them. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was holding a lit cigarette in one hand and a lollipop in the other. Guess which one I licked? FML
Today, I quit smoking cigarettes. While driving to work, the car in front of me flicked his out the window, flying straight into mine. It set the bottom of my seat on fire. FML
Today, I pretended to smoke a bread stick that looked like a cigar. It made me feel cool. FML
Today, I decided to quit smoking. During my lunch break, I tried to ash the KitKat bar that was in my hand after I took a bite. FML
Today, after months of avoiding fast food, I decided to eat some McDonald's french fries. Though the fries were delicious, they were not worth the agonizing 15 minutes I spent on the toilet afterwards. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend and she tasted like a cigarette. I don't smoke. She doesn't smoke. My roommate does. FML
Today, I made the decision to quit smoking while I was driving in my car. So I took my pack, crushed it and threw it out the window. I felt triumphant about this change I was making in my life, until the cop I didn't know was behind me gave me a ticket for littering. FML
Today, while driving me to the hospital because I was having an asthma attack, my mother lit a cigarette. FML
Today, I was driving with my mom. She had some soda with her from earlier, and even though it was probably warm, I was thirsty. I ask for a sip, she hands it to me and says sure. And I get a mouthful of ash-and-cigarette-butt-filled soda. Apparently she didn't feel the need to mention this to me. FML
Today, I was smoking a cigarette while watching the meteor shower. I was just about at the filter and as I was taking my last drag, my friend decided to scare me from behind, and I accidentally sucked the whole thing in my mouth. They don't go out immediately when in your mouth. My tongue hurts. FML
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Top comments
keke_fml 0
let's see which one kills you first
Charlesdenfreude 0
Wow, that's like the healthiest activity I've ever heard of
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Comments (208)
lol_seriously 0
39,000 YDI You got utterly pwned my friend.
lazorzpewpew 0
I love all the "You drive and you smoke?! ZOMG!11onoeone" comments - nothing wrong with smoking and driving outside of reeking up your car as smoking doesn't take an awful lot of your concentration! -_- All you preachy holier-than-thou kiddies need to calm down about smoking... To the topic: Damn, FYL! Although I don't see how smoking and eating fries at the same time could ever be a good idea - the only thing that goes down well with smoke is alcohol! :P
Honeypuddle 0
LOL. You're crazy!!! I agree with # 24.
myloveiselectric 0
....and cigarettes taste good when you DON'T bite them? that's why i don't smoke!
ssnickel 0
Why don't you pay attention and DRIVE instead of trying to eat and smoke. I hope you crash your car into a telephone pole next time.
InTheAyer 0
idiot.
OhwhAt_thFuck 0
really? all of you don't like that s/he is smoking? and you're on the internet. how often in one day do you go outside? it's all glutony, we're all going to die anyway. and it's pretty hard to live in a world today that doesn't practically requiire the consumption of some chemicals. What do you think is in that soda you drink? even the diet stuff, that's just as bad. cigarettes are no worse than pesticides. i bet none of you knew that football quarter backs are having somewhat deformed or off children because of the pesticides on fields and them licking their hands. tell me how that is any worse than cigarettes. I believe you've all forgotten the image of cigarettes in the past. they were sexy. in france and canada many people smoke and continue to live lives much better than many of us americans. overall, we're lazy, obese, easily manipulated assholes. so why, then, is it that you're saying cigarettes are any worse than anything else.
juicyfruit23 0
wow get a life
WildBill1337 0
wow bunch of judgemental asses on this one. "Judge not, lest ye be judged." or, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."
kidNflorida 0
that's what you get! :)