Anonymous
Today, I asked my wife who she would choose, me or the dog. She chose the dog. No hesitation. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
WoofWoof
United States
Today, my boyfriend of six months called me. He said his mom was making him choose between having a dog or having a girlfriend. I asked him which one he picked. He went quiet, and I heard barking in the background. FML
mugged
United States
Today, my dog had to choose between protecting me from a mugger or eating an apple. He chose the apple. FML
Anonymous
Dogs rule
Today, my wife kicked me out of my own bed to go and sleep on the sofa because the dog was whining, and would only stop if she was allowed to sleep on my side of the bed. My wife would rather sleep with the dog than me. FML
Richard
Uxbridge, United States
Deflection
Today, I was talking with my wife of five years, and I gave her a few hints about wanting kids. After our talk, she looked at me completely serious and said, "Yeah yeah, kids are great and all, but can't we just get you a dog?" FML
Anonymous
Canada
Choose wisely
Today, my husband gave me an ultimatum - choose him or my male best friend. I chose my husband. My husband then admitted to me that he was hoping I would choose my best friend so he would have an excuse to leave me and wouldn't have to tell me he's been cheating on me. FML
Afroman720
United States
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML
Anonymous
London, United Kingdom
Today, I was woken up by my wife softly kissing me on the lips. Half asleep, I kissed her back, before quickly opening my eyes and realising it wasn't my wife; it was my dog. FML
yolonono
San Francisco, United States
Today, while I was on a field trip with my son, my husband decided to get rid of our dog without asking anyone. Now I get to pick up the pieces of a broken heart, and he thinks he did nothing wrong. FML
*sneeze*
This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff
My new friend
Today, it's my wife's birthday. Since I had work, I gave her $200 to spend on herself and left. When I came back with dinner and the movie she wanted, I found her with a dog. She is very attached to him because the shelter was going to put him down. I love him, but I'm allergic to dogs. FML
Anonymous
Heartless swine
Today, my wife isn't speaking to me and is considering separation because I got rid of the puppy she surprised me with for my birthday. She knows I hate dogs and I'm severely allergic to them, but thought it would be a happy case of "Dad later falls in love." FML
Top comments
JuliaKay14 33
You shouldn’t have asked her to choose
aerith105 14
I mean FYL my dude but let's be real. I'd pick my dog over my boyfriend too if he made me pick. No doubts about it. Lady's got her priorities straight
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Comments (12)
Henry8cooper 15
Time to look for a divorce lawyer - choose a good one - maybe you will have custody of the dog 😂
aerith105 14
I mean FYL my dude but let's be real. I'd pick my dog over my boyfriend too if he made me pick. No doubts about it. Lady's got her priorities straight
JuliaKay14 33
You shouldn’t have asked her to choose
jbuckets_404 39
That's one of those questions for which you better damn well know what the answer is already else DON'T ask it 'cuz you probably won't like to know for certain otherwise....
AmbrosiaFan 19
Who'd she meet first? How old are you both and the dog?
Marjo86 29
YTDI for asking this question
RichardPencil 32
I’m sure she didn’t like the arrogance of your asking her that.
saberjpg 6
Maybe it an indication of how you treat her? It could be the "Wake up call" you need to start being a better husband. Too often, in relationships, people take the other half for granted. They forget to be happy that the other person is in their lives. They forget to take the time to tell them how amazing they are, and how lucky they are to have them. It's not too late to start.
WeirdUS 30
That's your fault dogs live on average 15 years and pets for a lot of people are family. Your an idiot for. thinking she'd give up the dog
Azzz 4
This is not a smart question. Never asked this kind of question again 😹😹