Today, I decided to light a candle in my room. Since fire intrigues me, I put an old brochure into it. Paper burns fast, and now my carpet has a big, black burn mark. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I lit a used tissue on fire in my room. Eventually, the fire became kinda of large (it was a big tissue) and when I blew it out, it fell on the carpet. Now I have a burn stain on it. FML
Today, I burned my nose. How? I tried sniffing a lit candle. FML
Today, I found a box of birthday candles sitting on the coffee table. Bored, I lit one, and after a minute I threw it away and sat back down on the couch. I started looking at the box and noticed that it said "Magic Re-Lighting Candles" at the exact moment that my trash can burst into flames. FML
Today, my apartment smelled like something was burning, so I checked the oven, toaster, outlets, and even the hallway. After an hour, I discovered the smell was coming from the candle I had forgotten I'd lit in the bathroom. I had spent an hour investigating a fire that wasn't happening. FML
Today, I sliced a deep gash into my thumb while carving up bagels. After putting a plaster on, I returned to my room to relax, where I lit a candle. The flame from my new lighter shot up, and set fire to the plaster on my thumb. Now I have a cut AND several burns. FML
Today, I wanted to impress my girlfriend with a cool fire breathing trick I learned online, and ended up burning half her room. FML
Today, while moving my wax burner away from the window, I spilled hot wax all over my hands, the wall, and in my electric fireplace. FML
Today, at a candlelit dinner, I accidentally set my dad's leg on fire. FML
Today, as a means of getting over my abusive ex, I decided to write his name on a piece of paper and light it on fire. As I lit the paper up, I noticed the marker ink had bled through it. The paper is gone, but his name is forever engraved on my desk. FML
Today, I was having trouble blowing out the last of the several candles on my bedside table. Exasperated, I blew as hard as I could, which sent hot wax from the other candles shooting into the air, all over my face and into my eyes. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
boycrazy30007 12
I get being a pyro, but there is no excuse for being an idiot
ILoveEggnog 7
I really hate to say this, but you definitely deserved it.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (207)
iPeterPan 8
I used to do that in my mum and dads bedroom. :D
tmrwisanotherday 1
Well you are a dick head aren't you!
FollowMe 2
Serves you right for letting the stupidity get you, xD Good Luck with whatever. Oh and you could've been intrigued with fire outside.
berlynski 4
Yes, because playing with fire outside is a MUCH better idea.
FollowMe 2
Better than in the room, Genius!
berlynski 4
Actually, the smart thing would be not playing with fire at all. Thanks for calling me a genius. (;
FollowMe 2
Ofcoarse, if you were to though, outside is smarter than a room. Genius. xD
blackwidowtaco 31
Course*
cBlackout 13
Did it ever occur to you that unleashing your inner pyromaniac may not be such a good idea?
FollowMe 2
In your room.
Lanceeden 12
I read this in snapes voice for some reason. Idk
minisquid 9
Lance, you have gained my respect forever.
youngbuck10 9
No shit, Sherlock.
kikiwi_fml 9
That's what you get.
Nolnah 14
I hope your intrigued by big black marks too!
FollowMe 2
Why else would Op do something like that if Op is not intrigued by big black marks?
berlynski 4
44- Shall I restate the obvious or can you answer that question on your own?
Lanceeden 12
Ehehehehe that's what she said.
phatdaddy62 23
Big black cocks? That's what you like?
FYLDeep 26
Or you could just burn shit outdoors... I've found that to be pretty successful. Especially when I have to burn things that are somewhat big, you know, around the size of a body bag.
rudikk99 2
..."since the fire intrigues me. ..." Are you retard??? ?
suavesuave 2
You know what they say.. Don't play with fire