Today, as a means of getting over my abusive ex, I decided to write his name on a piece of paper and light it on fire. As I lit the paper up, I noticed the marker ink had bled through it. The paper is gone, but his name is forever engraved on my desk. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was moving. While packing, I found an old photo that had been laying face down in the bottom of a drawer for some time, and some of the ink transfered to the drawer lining. There is now an image of my ex-girlfriend's face permanently burned into the bottom of my nightstand drawer. FML
Today, I decided to light a candle in my room. Since fire intrigues me, I put an old brochure into it. Paper burns fast, and now my carpet has a big, black burn mark. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me by writing "we're through fat slob" on my forehead whilst I was asleep in permanent marker. FML
Today, I got piss drunk. Being a tattoo artist, I came to the intoxicated conclusion that I could save much more money doing my own tattoos on myself. I now have my ex-boyfriend's name permanently on my thigh. It's not even spelled right. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me by writing a breakup note with permanent marker on my newly painted bedroom wall. FML
Today, my therapist told me to write any negative thoughts that I had on a piece of paper and then set fire to it. When I lit it in the trash can, huge flames broke out and I had to throw the trash can out my window to keep from setting my house on fire. FML
Today, I poured my heart out into what had to be my greatest set of lyrics for my band ever, at the same time my teacher was explaining chemical changes to the class. At the end of the lecture he picked up my paper, and set it on fire to demonstrate a chemical change. FML
Today, I got a tattoo with my boyfriend's name on it. As we're coworkers, I showed it to him thinking he’d love it. He told me he couldn’t continue the relationship anymore since he realized he wants to fix things with his wife. Three hours of pain and 2 years down the drain. FML
Today, my boyfriend took a picture of us together because he wanted to have something to burn when we break up. FML
Today, I lit a used tissue on fire in my room. Eventually, the fire became kinda of large (it was a big tissue) and when I blew it out, it fell on the carpet. Now I have a burn stain on it. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
smashgrab 0
Sandpaper will remove it, then use some touch up varnish to make the sanded patch blend in with the rest of the desk. Congrats on getting rid of an abusive ex, though!
felipe87 2
yea! now you get to torch a desk. bigger is better
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (146)
Wizardroxx 3
Well... it'll be a memory.
fakeaccountX 6
It wouldn't be "engraved" unless you had carved it into your desk with a knife or something. Relax and get some rubbing alcohol.
titanic12beth 0
burn the desk.
muffpuncher 0
a fine plan!
IndianForLife 0
You should have gotten married to the man. That way you would have been less guilty for having sex with a stranger.
Ronnie_loves_you 11
WTF? ^
IndianForLife 0
^Ronie doesn't love me. :(
brianjman14 23
18 - I was thinking that, too. 23 - That made me laugh, hahaha. OP - Unless you actually did take a knife to the desk, it'll wash off. You're an idiot. Don't over exaggerate.
zoraman5 3
Anyone else think Death Note?
vergaso 0
but if u burn the desk it'll engrave the name to the floor
Cierra657 0
23 winn xD
smashgrab 0
Sandpaper will remove it, then use some touch up varnish to make the sanded patch blend in with the rest of the desk. Congrats on getting rid of an abusive ex, though!
Jewelofagal 2
Try a Magic Eraser, first.
iSitt 0
rubbing alcohol might work too
michalch98 4
Also a torch or molotov cocktail. Preferably a flamethrower but if you dont have one make a molotov! Better yet, light some 140 proof Absynthe on fire and torch tbe desk. I would record it upload it to youtube then put the desk in the neighbors yard. I wish you luck!
Qwermy 16
acetone should get rid of it too
felipe87 2
yea! now you get to torch a desk. bigger is better
mattyjsando 0
way to think outside the box
illmatic2 16
Or she could just set her ex on fire.... That's what I would do.
mahimalil 0
Time to burn the desk. Just what I was thinking.
darienXdisaster 0
28; win!
melons122 3
I was thinking the same thing
dickamaru 0
hell ya bust out the gasoline
meeexxx 18
how about using some alcohol to rub it off?
DocBastard 40
Nah, alcohol burns too much. I would use Vaseline or lotion or KY. Wait, what?
Yee12 0
Doc, you may just be my idol.
BeastNerd 3
#16 hahahahahahaah I was like, 'What? He's SO off.' Once again, hahahahahahahahaha
krazykyra1996 3
I officially love you. Just saying(:
Twisted107 4
get a new desk
BrookeLockhart 0
Sorry, we have the same breed of dog :)
iDontHaveTwitter 0
burn the desk
Azure_Ebony 0
Baking soda works for some of those kinds of stains. Congrats on getting rid of your ex, though!
heyygirl14 2
use rubbing alcohol to get it off :)
blcarter81 0
I doubt a marker pen engraved it onto your desk.... :/
Sirin_fml 47
You're not saying this is fake, are you? You wouldn't say such a thing, surely, dude.
krystal2424 0
well now burn the desk, then what the heck burn his house down. lol jkjk at least file a report against the jerk :]