Today, I decided to let in my new German Shepherd puppy inside to show the guest how adorable he is. In the middle of our conversation, he came running up to us with my vibrator in his mouth. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having fun while home alone, until my dog heard my vibrator and tried to attack me. FML
Today, my fully grown, 90-pound German Shepherd sniffed and wagged his tail as a guy mugged me. FML
Today, I invited my boyfriend over to meet my new puppy. My dog decided to take a dump on his lap. He is now not talking to me because he thinks I trained my dog to do that. FML
Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It would have been a lot sexier had our chihuahua not decided to rim his ass as he thrust into me, causing him to break out into a case of the giggles. FML
Today, I was getting a bit intimate with my boyfriend. Just when things were getting interesting, my dog managed to get into my room. He jumped on the bed and my boyfriend spent the next 20 minutes playing with the dog, while I sat next to him, half naked. FML
Today, my dogs freaked out and started getting violent because they thought the sound of my vibrator was the other's growling. FML
Today, my parents hosted a party at our house. After seeing one of the extremely beautiful guests, I went to masturbate in my room. When I was about to finish, my bedroom door opened suddenly. It was my mom showing around 10 party guests that our dog can open doors. FML
Today, I let my new puppy outside for the first time. When I went to get him, I saw a man running off with him. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I started fighting. Instead of arguing for herself, she decided to set her puppy on me. Only "Puppy" is the name of her fully-grown police-trained German Shepherd. FML
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Top comments
RedPillSucks 33
A golden vibrator retriever
iamchuck 0
Man's best friend found woman's best friend.
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Comments (134)
Nyc__Princess 0
YDI
mitchn60 6
You've taught your puppy to fetch quite well!! if you had been a guy it would have brought a beer and the remote.
KittehSayzRAWR 0
Good doggy!
daven_fml 0
what do you mean when you say "I let me puppy inside"? do you keep it outside? dogs are pack animals and need to be with people. if you keep him outside, maybe YOU should live outside with him you insensitive ASS! people who make their dogs live outside shouldn't own dogs.
Nena713 0
Animal rights activist in the house!
marinus_fml 20
Dogs such as boerboels do not belong inside the house. Google them. Best dog known to man.
daven_fml 0
not an activist be I give a shit about my dog.
Nena713 0
Yea but like #29 said, not all dogs belong in the house.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
The fact that the dog was outside doesn't mean it lives outside all the time. Some people prefer to put dogs in another room or outside when a new person comes to visit, until they know whether the guest is comfortable with dogs. That's especially true for big dogs, and dogs who are new to a household. Besides, big dogs need room and time to run around outside anyway. Maybe it was just a nice day and the dog was getting some exercise.
nathan5 0
dogs are wild animals domesticated by man, if a puppy starts its life outside its natural instinct will kick in and it will live as it did before they were kept as pets the same with most animals, dogs need companionship i agree but they do not need to be inside constantly. dogs get treated as equals to humans too often, they are not..however i do love dogs!!
jtini001 4
umm..maybe the dog was outside taking a piss... that's all?
deadman93 8
dude stfu alot of our dog live outside. as long as u spend time with them they will be perfectly normal dogs. stupid PETA dumbass
ZESATI 0
dogs are more comfortable outdoors in open space
MegaElectric 1
You know, I like you just for your comment
ChaoSKinG86 7
They belong outside the are dogs they are not self aware, they're bodies are made to be outside unless your stupid enfough to own a dog that does not belong in your climate than your dumber than the dog cause he did not decide to live in the wrong climate zone
ileenefudge 29
Dude calm down there could be plenty of reasons for a dog to be outside, like going to the bathroom or relaxing. It's not like the dogs gonna get hurt for being in the sun for a lil while. Jeez...
Person1233 13
So what you're saying is... You ain't got no pancake mix?!
Currentlyonfire 4
inspector Rex solves another case. bitch.
AssDan 0
YDI. Get a dick.
uncleyuggles 0
just have him get it since he can
muhaidib 2
maybe he likes the smell of it
itsmekids 0
that sucks