Today, I decided to let in my new German Shepherd puppy inside to show the guest how adorable he is. In the middle of our conversation, he came running up to us with my vibrator in his mouth. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having fun while home alone, until my dog heard my vibrator and tried to attack me. FML
Today, my fully grown, 90-pound German Shepherd sniffed and wagged his tail as a guy mugged me. FML
Today, I invited my boyfriend over to meet my new puppy. My dog decided to take a dump on his lap. He is now not talking to me because he thinks I trained my dog to do that. FML
Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It would have been a lot sexier had our chihuahua not decided to rim his ass as he thrust into me, causing him to break out into a case of the giggles. FML
Today, I was getting a bit intimate with my boyfriend. Just when things were getting interesting, my dog managed to get into my room. He jumped on the bed and my boyfriend spent the next 20 minutes playing with the dog, while I sat next to him, half naked. FML
Today, my dogs freaked out and started getting violent because they thought the sound of my vibrator was the other's growling. FML
Today, my parents hosted a party at our house. After seeing one of the extremely beautiful guests, I went to masturbate in my room. When I was about to finish, my bedroom door opened suddenly. It was my mom showing around 10 party guests that our dog can open doors. FML
Today, I let my new puppy outside for the first time. When I went to get him, I saw a man running off with him. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I started fighting. Instead of arguing for herself, she decided to set her puppy on me. Only "Puppy" is the name of her fully-grown police-trained German Shepherd. FML
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Top comments
RedPillSucks 33
A golden vibrator retriever
iamchuck 0
Man's best friend found woman's best friend.
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Comments (134)
SkullCanddi 0
awww, how cuute!
CherryBomb511 3
At least your puppy knows how to keep things interesting.
suave0510 0
XD
babyyappld 7
but where would that vibrater be if a puppy could get to it?
iamchuck 0
Man's best friend found woman's best friend.
Dodlaf_fml 4
win
charrity 0
epic win!
marmlr339 14
lol!!!
HamsteronA 0
WIN
ROFLBERRYPIE 0
Good thing it wasn't a female dog. OP wouldn't have gotten it back!
iamchuck 0
You look like an epic win #9
BethiiGeex 0
lmfao:x ^^
lekiat 0
lol! good one
T3CHN0_N3GR0 0
Is it a girl dog? LOL
pilotx 0
Leave your mom out of this
korn247 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You deserve it!
roketkween 0
korrrrrnnnn <3
JonnyNoThumbs 0
Aww. Puppies are so cute. Mine would take used pads and tampons out of the trash and chew them up in the living room. Adorable!
iamchuck 0
That sounds just lovely.
CherryBomb511 3
That's...disgusting.
KiaMaster 0
that's gross.
nathan5 0
no, not adorable. ops dog is adorable, yours isnt...sorry!
kyarush 10
doggy has good taste
_vicky_luv 0
can dogs get aids from that?
starile 20
That's disgusting, not adorable.
jpest17 5
dogs don't get aids stupid!
lildevil963 0
thts not sanitary
Southern_Grown 0
did you really just ask if dogs could get aids from tampons??? WOW!!
alchemist27 13
Is your dogs name Giovanna
teentee401 37
My dogs do the same thing...
RedPillSucks 33
A golden vibrator retriever
Kevlar29 0
OMFG most epic win!
xCatsPwnU 0
I see what you did there.
ArianS2 0
Lol! Nice one. +1
mitchem 3
would be cool if it wasn't for the fact that it was a German shepherd
T3CHN0_N3GR0 0
Good point #91
partyman007 0
yes!!!
aliaskis 3
maybe you should hide your vibe in a drawer and not under your bed. unless you want to use the awkward moment as a segway into evolving your relationship with your guest.
littlewimpe 3
You have very nice boobs.
Air_Force001 0
WTF it's called a drawer and should be used for such a item haha but dogs are awesome
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Eh, I've known several dogs who could open drawers. Hell, my ferrets will even open my nightstand drawer if I put some of their favorite things to steal in there.
suave0510 0
dats awsome, doggy Knos wat he's doin lol I wonder if it liked da taste?
Waffle817 0
learn to spell
Gloritank 8
Learn to capitalize and punctuate.
Nick_1993 2
I hate people who talk like that...
drippingfaucet 0
haha thug 4 life. I hate it when people spell like that honestly how did they pass english class
itman3456 0
do u feel kool u should cuz da white boys think they hard lol
grim57 1
#65... WARWICK FTW
lacrossekid 0
thats what you get when you use it on your dog and he thinks it's now his toy... you sick person
ItAllBurnZ 0
You sound a lot more like the sick person to infer this out of thin air...
deformedsurf 0
This is the reason that dogs are great and cats should be put into a cage and thrown into the ocean.
eddieyes 0
I will throw you into the ocean before you even realize it
breenntt 0
you're a keeper!
dustandashes 0
my cat fetches dogs and puts them in cages