Today, I was potty-training my nephew. He had been on the toilet for almost twenty minutes and could not go. My phone started ringing, and as I went to pick it up he knocked it into the toilet. He then peed and pooped on it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was babysitting my 5 month-old nephew, who hasn't pooped in two days according to his mom. Well, he pooped. I accidentally stuck my finger in it. While I was wiping my finger off, he rolled over and peed on my new carpet. I rolled him over to clean the pee and he opened fire and pooped again. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom after my 9 year-old nephew. Apparently nobody taught him to lift the seat when he pees, or how to aim properly, because when I sat down, I sat in his pee. FML
Today, my youngest decided my phone needed a bath in the toilet. FML
Today, I berated my five-year-old nephew for peeing on the floor. His mom bitched me out for expecting "a little boy to have perfect aim." That's funny, it looked pretty good when he dropped his pants, looked me in the eyes, and started to piss on my rug. FML
Today, the 3-year-old I nanny wanted to prove to me that he was tall enough to pee standing up in front of the toilet. When he realized he actually was tall enough, he got excited and misdirected his stream, covering himself, his brother, and me in urine. FML
Today, my son learned how to use the toilet for the first time. He was so excited he started peeing on the floor. FML
Today, my two year-old is being potty trained. He got the gist of it and actually did #1 and #2 in the potty and after our little celebratory dance, I went to get him a cookie (which took me two seconds). I come back to see him covered in shit and pee because he tried to go empty the potty himself. FML
Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML
Today, I was desperate to teach my 2-year old to use her potty. I had to pee, and thought maybe she would learn by watching me use it. Everything was going well, until I realized that I had a long pee. So long that it overfilled her potty all over. FML
Today, my 3-year-old missed the toilet. In the time it took me to get paper towel to clean it up, my one-year-old decided it was the perfect puddle to play in. FML
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Top comments
FernandoTorres_fml 0
Today, I phoned up my best friend to talk about the days events. As soon as he picked up he farted in the earpiece and left me hanging while I heard him excrete in the background. FML.
HanaxD 0
Ew.
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Comments (89)
guzman21 0
second!
skarlath 0
Omg
BlueJeans2626 0
nothin' like a little motivation (:
MF12 0
well usually second people go "first!" but you have it the other way around...
RaKum12 0
hahahahahahahahaha he did it on purpose
tysta 0
Who cares if he pees and poos in it, it's broken just flush it.
neddyy 0
you cant flush a phone
happy_animal_lov 0
#58- a potty is just a little bowl. you can't flush it. and why the **** were *you* potty training your nephew????
tatababe 1
At least he finally did his business
Amanyyyyyy 29
86- Nothing wrong with helping out... I potty trained my little siblings and gave my older sister tips on how to get my nephew to go..
HanaxD 0
Ew.
bhangu023 0
ahahahahahahaha
Ft9princess 0
at least you helped him go! :)
MetroidSlayer01 8
lol. True...
BangOut 2
4TH
AGGoddess 2
YDI - this is why most people have voicemail.
mfmylifesrsly 30
how the **** does she disserve it??
packerboy1280 0
agreed how can peeple say she deservedit
AGGoddess 2
She could have let it go to voicemail and call the person back as soon as the kid was finished.
packerboy1280 0
no one gives a shit if ur first or fourth or watever so shut tha **** up
Towelie_31 0
i think #6 is jealous?
efil_ym_kcuf 0
agreed...it only works if you put your spot THEN put a comment relevant to the OP.
packerboy1280 0
jealos of wat being the 1st to comment who gives a shit
Towelie_31 0
you're clearly so jealous, that in your blind rage, you forgot how to spell jealous
packerboy1280 0
ummm i have a life n i dont care what number i am 2 post a comment unlike sum peeple n also who cares bout spelling on a fml comment
Towelie_31 0
oh you care... you care...
packerboy1280 0
just shut up towelie
guzman21 0
:p be jealous! i got second¡
Freeze_fml 17
If only you had recorded it from the phone.
FernandoTorres_fml 0
Today, I phoned up my best friend to talk about the days events. As soon as he picked up he farted in the earpiece and left me hanging while I heard him excrete in the background. FML.
HanaxD 0
Hahaha, the "as soon as he picked up he farted in the earpiece" part made me laugh. :P The OP's a woman though.
chaos753159 4
LOL Literally (spelling)
OLOtheDemigodess 0
your comment just made my day. *thumbsup*
aoelk424 0
her nephew sure isn't a woman
iTwitch 5
win!! hahahha
razz122 5
Why are you potty training your Nephew. Shouldn't your brother/sister be doing that.
efil_ym_kcuf 0
actually...there are lots of honorable women out there, including my aunt, who take in their nieces and nephews...due to these women having asses for brothers and sister-in-laws who pass away young...
nurgletr0n 0
i was wondering the same thing razz, isn't it teh parents responsibility?
Magicalyn 0
I have a friend who watches both of her nephews during the day in exchange for free room and board. Maybe she just takes care of him during the day?
ju5td0it 0
well at least he hasn't learned how to drop things down the toilet and flush them down the toilet... Ive experienced this unfortunately