Anonymous
United States
Today, I couldn't contain my laughter when a patient told me she'd named her unborn daughter Twinkie. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
andy
Long Beach, United States
Knowledge is power
Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML
baby names
Today, I helped a lady give birth on the train. She was so happy she asked if she could name the baby after me, but as I told her my name she visibly turned her nose up at it, turned to her husband, and suggested naming it after his grandfather instead. FML
lawdy
Today, I told my daughter that she's going to be a big sister, because there is a baby growing in my tummy. She's been sobbing because I can't convince her that I didn't eat a baby. FML
anotherfmladdict
Muscatine, United States
Today, my 15-year-old daughter said she wanted to become a "baby name expert". I chortled, until I looked it up. They actually exist. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML
Dor51
Tacoma, United States
Cool rapper name
Today, we found out that my unborn sibling is a girl, and my parents quickly named her. In a few years' time, "Candida" is going to catch all kinds of shit at school, just like I do for being named Dorothy. My "friends" have already started calling me "Lil' yeast infection's sis." FML
noway
Cholet, France
Today, my French wife chose the name of our unborn baby girl. She wants to call her Fanny and won't change her mind. FML
numbnuts
Nanaimo, Canada
Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML
-___-
Stockholm, Sweden
Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML
BlackRavenWings
United States
Bigmouth strikes again
Today, I noticed a picture in an elderly patient's room, of a pretty girl in a bikini. Trying to be funny and lighten the mood, I said, "Looks like you have some good eye candy to help you recover faster." With a stern look he replied, "That's my granddaughter." FML
Top comments
desireev 18
What is wrong with parents nowadays?! Do they hate their kids? There was a mother who was on the news because she named her child "Facebook Me Soon".. WTF?!?!
ihasbrains 10
Heard people would name their kids things like Sparta so that they could introduce them like this: 'THIS, IS, SPARTA!' Gotta admit, it's kind of funny.
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Comments (428)
Torva_fml 16
I don't blame you.
RabidBunny 10
I hate my name, but now I'm glad my parents didn't name me after a food product! They might have cared after all! :D
iDaniel525 8
RabidBunny is a pretty cool name.
nfjskcbdkdjdjdn 2
At least the baby is a girl. Just imagine all of the hate that poor kid would get if it was a boy!
A100893 30
The mother must've been having some odd pregnant cravings again.
HappyJello 7
Hopefully that was all. I hope she wasn't serious...
Angelrose2004 17
Makes me feel better about my name being Destany. Poor child!
DrMaverickRanger 4
Destany? Can your parents not spell?
Michelle_74617 1
Well that I a wonderful name
koolkat27 13
what?
MadameMerle 11
I don't want to live on this planet anymore
DocBastard 40
Parents who pull this kind of shit should be arrested for child abuse. Saddling your child with a bullshit name like this GUARANTEES that the child will be bullied and ridiculed. The mother should be forced to change her legal name to "Imafucking Halfwit".
Awsemogreeb 19
I'm too scared to ask for the story behind your new picture.
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
No truer words have ever been typed.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Don't forget that shit names like this will possibly ruin their chances for a successful future. I mean really, what kind of sane interviewer/boss would want to hire a person called [crazy name] williams, or whatever?
DaKillaMafia 2
Question Doc, I read that you don't usually take bullets out of patients. Wouldn't the lead be a problem for the person later on? I'm probably wrong, and it probably doesn't harm the body. You know more than me.
Isoldael 27
Or you just call your kid DocBastard. That could only lead to good things, right?
DocBastard 40
DaKilla - no, leaving the bullet poses essentially no risk.
DaKillaMafia 2
Thanks for clarifying that. I learned something new today.
10oclockSteve 5
It pisses me off when people name their kids stupid things like twinkie... Seriously wtf.
silverstar93 3
right?! like a puppy or a kitty it would be cute. but were talking about s child who is gonna try to make it in this world... who knows as a lawyer or a doctor. like no one will everr take this kid seriously... it's heartwrenching
waterlilyxxx 9
Were they on drugs? Parents these days...