Anonymous
United States
Today, I couldn't contain my laughter when a patient told me she'd named her unborn daughter Twinkie. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
andy
Long Beach, United States
Knowledge is power
Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML
baby names
Today, I helped a lady give birth on the train. She was so happy she asked if she could name the baby after me, but as I told her my name she visibly turned her nose up at it, turned to her husband, and suggested naming it after his grandfather instead. FML
lawdy
Today, I told my daughter that she's going to be a big sister, because there is a baby growing in my tummy. She's been sobbing because I can't convince her that I didn't eat a baby. FML
anotherfmladdict
Muscatine, United States
Today, my 15-year-old daughter said she wanted to become a "baby name expert". I chortled, until I looked it up. They actually exist. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML
Dor51
Tacoma, United States
Cool rapper name
Today, we found out that my unborn sibling is a girl, and my parents quickly named her. In a few years' time, "Candida" is going to catch all kinds of shit at school, just like I do for being named Dorothy. My "friends" have already started calling me "Lil' yeast infection's sis." FML
noway
Cholet, France
Today, my French wife chose the name of our unborn baby girl. She wants to call her Fanny and won't change her mind. FML
numbnuts
Nanaimo, Canada
Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML
-___-
Stockholm, Sweden
Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML
BlackRavenWings
United States
Bigmouth strikes again
Today, I noticed a picture in an elderly patient's room, of a pretty girl in a bikini. Trying to be funny and lighten the mood, I said, "Looks like you have some good eye candy to help you recover faster." With a stern look he replied, "That's my granddaughter." FML
Top comments
desireev 18
What is wrong with parents nowadays?! Do they hate their kids? There was a mother who was on the news because she named her child "Facebook Me Soon".. WTF?!?!
ihasbrains 10
Heard people would name their kids things like Sparta so that they could introduce them like this: 'THIS, IS, SPARTA!' Gotta admit, it's kind of funny.
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Comments (428)
ICATiger 13
I love twinky :)
flockz 20
careful, a statement like that over the internet might get you more attention than you want. saying that love long cylindrical tubes of delicious cream might get some guys going, unless of course you're actually talking about a Twinkie, the snack. learn to spell said snack to avoid confusion.
CheckItOutItsYou 7
Cool story bro
ICATiger 13
Sorry but what the hell is a twinkie?? I was joking about that
DrewFluIngle 10
A Twinkie is a nasty junk food we Americans have, I'm not sure if other countries have it because they are so nasty. Ok well to get on with it, they are pound cake, inappropriately shaped, dessert treat. They are filled with this white cream garbage that probably contains rotting flesh.. (:
cat101234 0
Poor kid
xSonic 9
He's gonna grow to be a kinky Twinkie ;)
WCARlover 35
I'm thinking he's gonna grow up to be a serial killer from all the harassment he'll get in school. Or she I suppose
xSonic 9
Harassment for having a delicious name? Damn this world must be getting sucky. Tasteless children...
The_Troller 14
95- actually she's very tasty.
WCARlover 35
Who's tasty?
weritomexican 7
Twinkie's are tasty:d
ClassyCommando 13
Why, exactly did 14 and 30 say "he" when referring to the baby? It clearly says DAUGHTER in the FML.
WCARlover 35
267...very true, I was just following 14's lead...you still get my drift
ClassyCommando 13
Very well, you are forgiven.
xSonic 9
I'm a failure. Sorry
zowieandzander77 1
But your profile pic is a win!
Pentium_4 27
What did she expect? "Oh, what a great name!" ??
HappyJello 7
That's kind of what I said above, but okay...
Pentium_4 27
1 minute apart. didn't see your comment....
HappyJello 7
Yeah. I didn't realize that. Sorry.
Pentium_4 27
:)
Amrel 10
I dont blame you, was her name by any chance Hostess? Her next child will be named Snowball i bet
Just_A_Panda 9
I think the 2nd child will be named Twonkie or maybe even Fudge Round :/
bobbycorwen 5
Fudge round is made by Little Debbie.
kateheartswaffle 0
Snowball.. Imagine naming a kid that kitty cat worthy name.
IloveyouJon 11
I hope she changed the baby's name after that.
constantine91 0
I'd hate to be that baby. What an awful name.
zann_fml 2
Hopefully hopefully hopefully the OP misunderstood the mother either being sarcastic or the fact that it's a nickname until baby is born. Hopefully. Hey, you can't blame a girl for being optimistic, right?
HaraAishi 8
I'd love to be optimistic like that. My friend referred to her baby as a sea monkey until he was born.
GoW_Chick 15
She must really enjoy twinkes 0.o Why do I have a feeling she may be slightly overweight...
Amrel 10
Slightly may not be the correct term, think of her as a Boomer from GoW
farhil 14
I get it now. She's not actually pregnant, she's just fat! And the reason she claimed that the anomaly in her stomach-area was named Twinkie, was because she had recently eaten a Twinkie! Now I feel too optimistic.
kut19 6
With a name like that, she has no choice but to become a stripper.