Today, I climbed onto my boyfriend's lap and sexily told him "It's getting hot in here," and started unbuttoning my shirt. He said "Oh," pushed me off him, and went to turn the ceiling fan on. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend picked me up during sex and set me on his shoulders, with his face buried in my pussy. I loved it until he took a step and put my face right in the path of the ceiling fan. FML
Today, I sat down on my bed completely naked in front of my husband and said, "Man, it's hot in here!" while spreading my legs. He just blew on my vagina, asked if that was better, and then walked away. FML
Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML
Today, things were getting hot with my boyfriend and I started to breathe heavy and moan. He then says to me, "Babe, can you calm down, we're having sex not running a marathon." FML
Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to see more of his passionate side. He pushed my head down towards his lap. FML
Today, things began to get hot and heavy between my boyfriend and me. Suddenly, in a deep, sexy voice, he whispered, "God help me for what I'm about to do." Thinking it was just an odd manner of dirty talk, I mumbled about liking it. He then farted very loudly. FML
Today, my fiancé and I were cuddling on the couch watching TV when we started kissing. As I crawled onto his lap and started to unzip his pants, he said, "You're blocking the TV." FML
Today, I took a bath and dressed in a skimpy lingerie. I sat on the couch for an hour and a half before giving up and putting on my boyfriend's old t shirt. It was then that he decided to comment. On the t shirt I was wearing. FML
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Top comments
devildog562 33
Guess the fan was the only thing blowing.
diving_fml 30
guess he wasn't properly warmed up :)
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Comments (65)
nitrog100 21
Maybe he wasn't in the mood. Seinfeld had it right; women take sex for granted, like garbage pickup; you're used to just throwing any old thing out there and having some guy in a jumpsuit take it.
luverofakatsuki 16
at least he was being considerate and nice.... even if he didnt get what you meant
SystemofaBlink41 27
Hey, at least it wasn't hot anymore?
ShadowlessSpear 21
Yes, you might be, but please speak for yourself, and try not to generalize the whole gender. Thanks.
clubber101 8
He's a keeper ??
coming back in the future 30
He did say most though 36
ShadowlessSpear 21
Maybe I stand corrected, or maybe there was a little last second edit. Either way, I still want to get the point across that generalization is never a good thing. And if I was wrong, sorry #26
ostfaiz 18
Op's Fml reminds me of a hit Nelly song ' its gettin hott in here, so take off all ur cloths'... Fyl Op for not getting a coolant on-time ;-)
DeadpoolBatman 5
Perhaps you've trained him to well?
geekygal 1
Is he autistic? This totally sounds like something the guy I have a crush on would say, and he is autistic.
brivielle 15
Wow. You have a large heart dear. :)
geekygal 1
Autistic people are the sweetest people out there, once you get to know them.
Rababco 29
Actually, that would make sense. People with Autism have a hard time picking up on non-verbals and often take things literally.