Today, I sat down on my bed completely naked in front of my husband and said, "Man, it's hot in here!" while spreading my legs. He just blew on my vagina, asked if that was better, and then walked away. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I climbed onto my boyfriend's lap and sexily told him "It's getting hot in here," and started unbuttoning my shirt. He said "Oh," pushed me off him, and went to turn the ceiling fan on. FML
Today, I was taking a shower when my husband suddenly came in naked. I thought we were gonna have some fun, and so tried to be sexy. He took a quick shower and left. FML
Today, I got naked after coming home. It's super hot where I live and I wanted to cool down before getting dressed again. As I was standing there, minding my own business, the cat I'm pet-sitting for a friend reached up and clawed me on the vagina. FML
Today, I was laying in bed completely naked, uncovered and waiting for my husband to walk in. He laid down in bed and starting playing with his phone instead of. FML
Today, I had sex with a new guy. After we were done, he noticed my lighter on my nightstand and said, "I've always wanted to try that!" He put the lighter by his butt and fart into it, producing a flame. After, when he left, I sat there, naked, mortified. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating. I thought it was hot and asked if I could join in. He threw me a disgusted look and screamed that I’d ruined the whole mood. Now we’re both unsatisfied. FML
Today, I crawled into bed, naked, wanting to get some, and hoping to surprise my boyfriend who's always complaining that I don't sleep naked. When he finally got into bed he rolled over, touched my bare ass, and said "Oh…" then rolled back over and went to sleep. FML
Today, my husband thought I might want to get intimate. I've never seen someone vacate a room so quickly. FML
Today, while sitting on the couch with my husband, I farted quietly. Not a big deal, except it's hot out and our fan was blowing in his face, and it stunk. FML
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Top comments
Ashamed_Sister 60
Men aren't always in the mood for sex. They prefer to walk away without saying anything, instead of blaming a migraine. Try again tomorrow.
RichardPencil 32
Hey, at least you got a ********.
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Comments (23)
inappropes 31
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I am not a woman but that would instantly make me think he is having a an affair.
Ashamed_Sister 60
Men aren't always in the mood for sex. They prefer to walk away without saying anything, instead of blaming a migraine. Try again tomorrow.
ProperPengTing 15
L
mayhem95 12
exactly??
Shannon Shaw 2
You'd think in this day and age women would have dropped it with the dumb hints already and just ask for sex.
ProperPengTing 15
Nope.
RichardPencil 32
Hey, at least you got a ********.
AkoChan 4
In other words, you are complaining the ******* was too short.
thehaystackerine 20
I will never for the life of me understand men who turn down sex with their wife. But then again my wife thinks that sex is completely unimportant in a marriage, and therefore doesn't put out unless she wants it... almost never.
thehaystackerine 20
I should rephrase that last part. She won't put out unless having sex was her idea. And apparently she doesn't recall the times when we were first married (sex mattered to her then), and I would come home from a double shift, and was exhausted, and I had sex with her anyway because she was horny.
TeachAllTheMath 19
I totally agree! Sex is so important and denying a partner can never end well.
Lobby_Bee 18
Like all other deli meals, it's best to keep your pastrami sandwich cool till ready to be eaten. He did the right thing.
EnvyMe33 26
Most men want sex all the time and don’t go through a cycle of emotions from ovulating/periods. So if you want your wife to have sex put forth the effort to turning her on. Just because a guy can be turned on like a light switch doesn’t mean a woman can. OP, sitting naked on the bed naked and being turned down probably means your hubby finally had the chance to show you what it feels like to be turned down. Getting rejected a lot does something to a males ego. Next time try to use a better technique.
Xanward 5
As a man, that's a bunch of BS.
siggy_mcsigx 22
wtf are you on about lmao
ProperPengTing 15
??????
littlelia 22
Men are allowed to not always be in the mood, just like women. Yeah, he could have better communicated that but I think the real FML here is that you assume men should always want sex/ be ready to **** at the drop of a hat